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You are not allowed to hold yourself responsible for that. You have to protect yourself. I see in your comments she uses that knowledge and guilt to control you. That's part of the emotional abuse. You are not responsible for her mental problems, and it's not your fault if she hurts herself. It's also not a fair trade, letting her hurt you instead of herself. She needs therapy, not a victim she can transfer all her problems to.
It’s looking more and more like it’s exactly what I assumed it was with the age gap and his comments.
He found a 20 year old with a rough childhood and at 32 she’s grown up and he still hasn’t.
Bruh…
might be true but your actions had to let her know it was okay for her to do that – she thought it was okay to do it twice.