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O,P i have been there ( they were was panties instead of a bra). He is cheating
This will follow you through any and every romantic relationship you have.
Someone who will willingly sabotage your happiness is also usually bad choice of date. Does she not think you can decide for yourself?
You’ve tried being nice, and supportive, and she isn’t listening to you, despite obviously something wrong happening.
So tell her that you are worried, that she needs to not be around him. That you can’t make her not be there, but you can end the relationship if she fails to put her own safety as a priority.
And then if she doesn’t stop being there you end the relationship.
I’m looking at the edit above this comment.
u/BurlAroundMyBody makes an excellent point.
What does “just a Black American” mean???
I’m just a white lady, but I am absolutely positive that your boyfriend has a culture. Hate to break it to the rest of the world, but everyone has some kind of culture, some kind of history, some place that they came from, some ancestors that are part of their stories. Some of those things have been lost to time and circumstance, but damnit be proud of who you are today.
OP obviously values her culture much more than her BF’s, but in reality hers is no more or less important than his. I hope her boyfriend understands that. Her culture will always come first and she is using her culture to hide her father’s abuse and disrespect.
I am curious about how her culture would view spitting in somebody’s face.
To the BF – respect yourself enough to know that whatever culture you come from, you deserve respect.
I really don't think dating based on personality is comparable to the first two
!UpdateMe
This is to show you how much power he has over you. He can pin you down. It's abuse. Please get yourself safe. He's escalating because he thinks you're trapped by marriage and pregnancy. It doesn't get better from here.
Wouldn't it be more effective to waterboard the insecurity out of the bf? I mean, we're resorting to Guantanamo Bay relationship advice after all.