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You're way too old to be putting up with this. Leaving is, at this point, the clear and only option.
Do not walk on eggshells your whole life for a partner who has nothing but contempt for you.
I accidentally called my gf (now wife) my exâs name in an argument and I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I actively made sure it never happened again. Even if it was a mistake the first time or two, by this point she doesnât care enough to filter her own thoughts before they come out of her mouth. Id seriously confront her and ask her what her problem is.
This seems like a âyouâ problem. Talk to a therapist.
Girl the only person you fell in love with is you. Your entire post is nothing about your feelings and your loneliness and your life. You donât give a shit about either of those people, really. You were willing to risk damaging their marriage to satisfy your wants. (And letâs be real here: You didnât love this man, because loving means putting their needs before your wants. You wanted to âownâ this man. Get therapy to figure out why you feel the need to possess other people and why your idea of love is so warped.)
You werenât a friend to these two. In your mind they were just side characters in your personal narrative of your life. You lied to them, you took advantage of them, and you behaved like a creeper towards them. You were no different than a Nice Guy who hovers around a woman pretending to be her friend, just waiting for the chance to sabotage her life and swoop in to save the day. Does that sound like a friend to you?
Yes, youâre the bad guy. And no, you shouldnât expect pity from people. These are the natural consequences of your choices. You want your life to get better? Be a better person than you were here. Maybe, if you do a lot of work, youâll eventually learn how to make actual friends. But first you have to accept the fact that you behaved incredibly badly here.
People are more multifaceted than an evil cheater.
Sure. That's kind of the point. People who behave like your friend will be shitty on way more facets than just the ones described here. Whatever excuses you accept for her behavior, she's 25. Old enough that her childhood trauma explains her actions, but does not excuse them.
So sorry OP, I think we can all say we are Glas you voiced this, reddit can be a lot of things including a cesspool but it does know cheaters from a mile away and I'm glad you took it seriously!
Depending on where you live, infidelity can make divorce proceedings very one sided but that isn't true everywhere so make sure you lawyer is working for you, your story is iron clad now it is just paper work.
Quick statement, because people keep talking about him lovebombing to try to control you etc, DID HE EVER LOVE YOU: I would guess he did, but somewhere along the line he realized he wasn't worthy of you, and rather than talking about it he thought it would be better to tarnish your glow so you were closer to his level. This is SUPER EVIL and do I think you should believe he loves you now? Absolutely not….
but I think he did love you once upon a time and that is why you didn't see it coming, because this started from a place of mutual love, you didn't have reason to doubt because he worked nude to hide it but he cracked under the weight of his Conscience. You did nothing wrong, you are human and so is he but it was not you and you need to remind yourself of that during the dark days ahead.
Big hugs OP ? take care of yourself ?
My guy, I have ADHD too. The solution to this isnât to say, âmy ADHD means I canât clean!â but to develop a system that 1) helps you stay organized and 2) helps you push past any executive dysfunction stopping you from starting/finishing chores
Poor guy đ