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Well this happened while you were watching… What happens when you don't? You can try to address this one more time, with your partner and their kids directly.. depending on what they say make your decision.
just notice that by taking 4 extra kids + a partner you are talking away at your time with your own kid… And if your partner doesn't interact with her either…. Then I would leave before you turn into the kind of parent who often writes here… Why does my kid hate me? Why did she go no contact? Etc
Good luck
Wow. Your relationship is doomed.
Why didn't you sleep with other women before you got married? No matter what others say, you are still going to do it anyway, isn't it?
Your daughter gave you the answer in your other post:
…if we want to keep a relationship with her we should admit what we did wrong and learn from it.
You both need to talk to a someone about it. Properly. And you need to educate yourselves better on autism. You need to learn that your actions, even if they were with good intent, did not help him. Besides, if you REALLY want to keep a relationship with your other children, then you wouldn't think twice about trying to find out what you did wrong and understanding it. Although maybe your kids are better without you both in their lives
Do you think you would feel better if you guys all did a video chat? You could get to know him a little bit ‘screen to screen’ and see if that makes a difference?
While I understand her perspective, I would get a bit frustrated if my partner was talking a bit too much about an ex who was now a friend. I think I’d prefer to hear maybe when they have plans to hang out and then how it went, but that’s about it.
I suppose you could consider creating a boundary between you and your partner. Perhaps she can agree to let you know when she’s going to hang out with him, and then she can give a very brief summary of how it went and then that’s it. I mean I don’t tell my husband everything my friends and I talk about. So she technically doesn’t have to give you all of the details either.
And I feel like she can’t have her cake and eat it too regarding open communication. If she wants you to communicate to her when you’re struggling with something, she shouldn’t immediately get defensive. She should take a deep breath and work with you to figure out a way to move through it/solve it. But I’m sure she wouldn’t be too thrilled to hear it that way from you. But if you do end up talking to her about types of communication, you could try to use it as an example.
4 months isn’t that long of a time. You guys are still figuring each other out. If you want to keep trying with her, then do your best to keep communicating, stay calm/respectful. (Hopefully she does the same for you.) And trust in her and the relationship unless she truly gives you a reason not to.
He went to the trouble of making you a nice breakfast, then flipped the entire table over because you said “I'll share but please get a plate”?
How old is he again?
You can't get pregnant from what they did
You'll be happy with a good relationship with a good partner, don't throw that away for a fantasy.
Fantasies are always better than reality because it's easy to exclude all the messy, nuanced complications of reality.
Don't throw away a good situation for a fantasy that will never come true in the way you want or even just expect it to.
Why are you asking us? Why would you feel the need for us to explain it to you? Break up with him, DUH! If it’s you’re home kick him out!!
I said that I felt that nobody was caring
Ok, so you were guessing at everyone’s feelings, that no body cares, instead of saying you feel unimportant. Still not talking about your feelings but guessing at other peoples feelings. That said, her reaction isn’t great either. Google emotional support skills. As that’s what you’re looking for and you didn’t get that. Though sometimes people aren’t doing well themselves and so can’t offer support, because they need it too.
If that’s why she didn’t offer it, instead of attacking you she should have shared her feelings that she’s not doing well either, so is not in a place to help you, and ask if you can discuss things later. So if anything it sounds like you both need to work on how to express your feelings instead of guessing at and attacking other peoples feelings.
Jesus Christ, how have you put up with him this long?! He expects you to bend to his wants, but the moment you have a limit or a need from him, he pulls the “you should love me as I am” bullshit card.
You aren't the bad guy. But from reading this it sounds like y'all aren't compatible, really. It sucks, I know you care about him, but try and reframe the situation. If your best friend was dating a guy who wanted her to change for him but is unwilling to do a single thing for her, seemingly mentally abuses her, and is not willing to seek help when he obviously needs it… What would you tell your friend?
While you are doing that, get with a good councilor to help you out with what's going on in your head and help you through these moments.
Mental health is as important as physical health, and going to counseling is just like a checkup when you think something is up with your body. Everyone should have one.
I feel like you are me 13 years ago. I’m now at the point that I’m ready to leave but it’s so much harder now that we own a house and have 2 kids. I highly suggest leaving before it’s incredibly hard to do so. I am almost 40 and looking at starting over, I wish I had followed my gut back right after we got married. Please don’t do what I did and ignore how bad things are.
If you are looking for a comment that will give you a clear answer on what to do, you won’t find it. Ranting about him lying isn’t going to help you. You have to act instead of speak.
Find a lawyer. Talk to one. If you get a good one, you can get a DNA test.
Maybe tell the husband of your H’s AP and talk to him.
Well.. let me back it up, I mean we're very sexually open and honest with each other, not in a hooking up way but just in a way where you can be honest and talk about your feelings, expressing threesomes, thinking a friend is very hot, etc. But she thinks I crossed the line with this one without letting her know but I didn't even get the chance, she just came into my house while I was passed out and took my phone. Just a week ago her friend was showing her Brazilian to her and she called me turned on about it. She's dated women in the past so I didn't know how to particularly feel because she was on a personal call with her but I think I handled it the right way and tried to be understanding..
That being said, absolutely, a joke will never be funny to anyone you're with and that's where I feel wrong about it.
It doesn't seem like they really get along living together. When we were together the last time she texted him and was upset about him eating some of her food. She was going off on him about it. He also told me that one-minute things will be ok between them. And then all of a sudden she'll flip on him. And that he shouldn't have to feel stressed about going back home.
If he washes. It shouldn't smell. There is seriously something wrong with that.
Therapy to explore the trauma you have from the abuse afflicted on you. This is above Reddits pay grade