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I feel like a lot of people have covered a lot here, so I just want to mention emdr. It’s worth looking into with your therapist. It’s super helpful for acute trauma like you describe.
I didn’t mean for the post to come across in a gloating way, that’s definitely not what I’m wanting to do here. I’m not an awful person, I’m somebody who made an awful mistake though and take full accountability for that. I will never repeat it again, I have stopped getting shit face wasted to the point I have no ability to stop what I’m doing. I did feel guilty for cheating on him, absolutely. I felt sick to my stomach with my actions.
I care about bf and love him so much.
To answer your question re what advice I’m asking for here… I guess it’s to get an outsiders perspective. This is the first healthy non abusive and non toxic relationship I’ve been in. I have been in narcissist abusive relationships / emotionally abusive relationships before.
I’ve gone to therapy already and have had long periods in between for healing and being single.. so yes I have done the inner work.
Evidence??
I appreciate your hatred, but the logic I used is not just about this specific example I need. Why would someone sabotage his relationship over suspicion, when they can make paternity tests without informing his partner. You can accuse this of this being logic specific to me. You would be wrong in doing so, but feel free regardless.
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I know plenty of men who can empathize with women.
My anecdotal knowledge is bad, but yours is not? Besides, I know a lot of men like that as well, so what? I know plenty that have trouble empathising in issues of periods and other things. This does not mean they raise this point necessarily, as our culture is thankfully making it seen as wrong. Now, in older days, when culture was opposite it wasn't quite so great. This is btw self admission regarding my own gender, so I am not sure why the anger?
If you don’t break up with this see you next tuesday…
Listen, from a woman a bit older than you: men like him, will treat you this way to break you down to get you to think you are not able to do better than him, so that you’ll stay. He will continue to chip at your confidence and self esteem, and you’ll think you deserve it because “well he still loves me even though Im __.” When you tell him it hurts your feelings, he’ll play it off as “just jokes,” and that you’re “too sensitive.”
Sweetie, you can do better than this dingus. You deserve so much better than this dingus.
What?
Why is this third person even voting? He can have an opinion, but…whatever.
You don't do anything, and stop worrying about handling everyone else's feelings. Also – you say you want your bf to give you the gift he originally planned to because 'that’s what he really wants to get me'.
What do YOU want? And I'm not just talking about the gift here, OP.
It’s just thoughts dude, human nature, u have crushes and that is fine. The only difference is how u react to those thoughts.
Look buddy I usually don’t like telling people what to do in their relationships (but here I am), but listen to this. There will always be better, you may be comfortable and happy in ur current home, but there will always be a better home, you may think your wife is the best but there will always be a better person than her…this is life. The only difference here is how u react to them. Don’t fix something that isn’t broken. You married ur wife for a reason, sex life can always be improved, go to couples counseling only if both of u really want to fix things not just to say “I went to couples therapy and it didn’t work”
And remember If we always chase the next best thing or the better, than what is the point of having them in the first place? That life sounds exhausting.
Good luck
I wonder if op would’ve threatened to report her had she been a man and not a woman