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People who have random outbursts of anger need professional help with anger management. The behaviour you're describing here is not normal.
You're 27 years old. You have – let's be conservative – hopefully at least 45 years left on the planet. Presumably you're looking for a partner to stay with for a long time. You're only 4 months into this relationship and this guy is already yelling abuse at you, and trying to control you (make no mistake – outbursts over saying things he doesn't like is controlling behaviour).
Unless he is willing to a) appreciate he has a problem, and b) get some professional help with this, it's not going to change. Is this really what you want for the next 45+ years? Your partner should be someone you love being around and enjoy spending time with. You should raise each other up, not put each other down. And you certainly shouldn't be walking on eggshells.
To be blunt, waiting three years before deciding to have children may be deciding not to have children at all. If you are comfortable with that, fine. If you are not, you should leave.
Don’t be rude that’s not good advice
IM quite surprised that a reputable surrogacy agency would let you be a surrogate if your husband wasn’t on board. So…. Did you use an agency or experienced surrogacy doctor or did you… DIY? I mean, this doesn’t SOUND like you had an embryo implanted, so I assume you were also an egg donor?
Either way, it sucks that this happened, but he literally told you ahead of time. How would you have felt if he told you he was going to donate sperm to someone, no matter how you felt about it?
I totally believe “my body, my choice” but that does NOT mean that your choices are without consequences.