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While everyone is busy bashing the girlfriend here, I think your part in this is being overlooked.
To me, you're not really into her OR the idea of “settling down” and you want something/someone different.
You can't change people. Think carefully if you actually LOVE her as she is. If you require someone with the same interests, it's not fair to push that onto her. It's a YOU issue. If your sex drives don't match now that's unlikely to change in future.
Just because she isn't satisfied with her current circumstances doesn't mean she's clinically depressed. She has identified what she feels is missing in her life and it's not unreasonable. A ring, a house and children are reasonable expectations at her age. 25 is NOT too young.
The only thing making her expectations seem unreasonable is how unhappy YOU are, and worse, would be if you met those expectations.
What you want for your future does not align with what she wants and it's not exactly in areas you can compromise on.
Sure she could take interest in your hobbies, or go out with you more often, or be more sexual… But that may not make HER happy. What are you going to do to meet her needs? You can't meet halfway on her goals and stringing her along hoping one day you'll be ready is CRUEL.
Counselling is always an option, but I don't think expecting either of you to bend is going to work out. Go find the life partner that can meet your needs and let her find hers, IMO.
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I think he sounds like a really bad bet. He can't be trusted. I wouldn't continue any relationship with him, much less a romantic one. It seems he only wants you when there's nothing more appealing to him available.
Sounds like you've internalized that he has no interest in healthy communication and conflict resolution, and that killed your attraction to him. That's a feature, not a bug.
Sounds like you don't want a girlfriend
Again, I’ve sent photos like that to so many women that and I’ve always had funny responses. This post has just shown me that people here are just easily offended. I mean. Women at clubs usually are h*es and so are the men there. That’s why I don’t go to clubs to find wifeable women… like tf?
If he's 99% great IRL…. Then you wouldn't put up a large post explaining that he treats you hard and cold leaving you wanting more.
If he's so great 99% of the time he wouldn't make jokes repeatedly making you cry even if you ask him to say if you're joking because he doesnt seem like it.
If you're so in love you'd be building each other up, respecting boundaries and communicating truthfully.
This will only get worse. He loves watching you fall to pieces (at his hands) so he can put you back together a little more…. Broken.
Get therapy. Suggest the same for him.
You are tripping. Seeing you respond to all these reasonable logic and advice just shows the problem is you OP. You are insecure and don’t trust your gf. I am willing to bet the issues you had in the past with her “leading on” past dudes were similarly like this situation now. And nothing came out of it since your gf was never engaging in infidelity. She is just using her own methods to stir these dudes away without escalating anything.
I give her props for being clever. And if I was her, seeing you exhibit this behavior is a red flag to leave. Especially if this happens more than once.
As someone who had a SA I can tell you things aren’t always clear. I did tell some lies because I felt so much shame like I asked for it when I’m reality I didn’t. I told myself more lies like if I wouldn’t have been nice to them they wouldn’t have noticed me. If I would’ve dressed more modestly it wouldn’t have happened. If I wouldn’t have gone to that place it wouldn’t have happened. I blamed myself for a long time and I lied so others wouldn’t know what had happened to be and wouldn’t judge me as I was judging myself.
I’m not saying it’s the same for your gf. Just giving you a perspective from someone who was SA not once by just one person but more than once. One even told me it was my fault for not saying no before. Another said that since we’d had sex before that it was his right to have sex with me whenever he wanted even if I was incapacitated, passed out etc. I know it’s a different situation for you though.
Don't be homophobic if you don't like being labeled a homophobe. Easy fix.
You could try and see how it goes.
It should be 100%. Also I'm the emotional support person for my ex and vice versa. YOUR EX SHOULD NOT BE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT PERSON !!!!!!
Just a 30 year old leech…..kick her out now!