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Possibly. Maybe I read more into it than there actually is. I once told her that I donât like the fact that sheâs having pictures of her exes on the computer especially the ones where they were naked in the bed and some nude pics of another 2 exes (not the husband) that she had an affair with during a crisis with her husband. She cheated on him even though sheâs saying that it wasnât cheating at all. She traveled all the way to Brazil from Germany just to see him and she took man pictures of him and I remember how she was talking about him and saying it was the best relationship of her life when we dated each other. The other one is an ex that she had sec with in a hotel right after the divorce, he was abformet professional tennis player and the thing what worries me is that she received the picture in 2019 when she was still married and not divorced or something like that. She has known this guy for 20 years and there still seemed to be some spark. She said to me that she canât delete those photos not even the ones where her exes are posing alone hard which baffles me since itâs just naked photos of her exes alone without her. I told her that itâs up to her and that I donât like it at all. That was a few months ago.
“⌠I am a male so this ridiculous judging of past sexual partners is rarely bestowed upon me”
Not openly, no, but studies suggest that women have no more favorable a view of men with high numbers than men do of women with the same. I'm not entirely sure where that leaves me, who hasn't even got a clue what my number of past partners might be, but I would assume that's also not seen as a very good look.
I mean thereâs not one answer?
I would tell you (as a female in her 30s) that you shouldnât worry about your looks too much. Yes I did when I was 20, because appearance was a (or so I thought) a huge deal⌠itâs not. I would much rather be with someone who is âunattractiveâ then someone who is naked but an ah Or aggressive or just not a good fit. Look for a guy who supports you and all you do! If you want to have kids, look for someone who views the domestic sphere as a 50/50 split and has similar views on the ideological spectrum- especially when it comes to raising kids. All of those things matter- their face does not.
That said, you are young and will realize this at some point! I hope itâs sooner vs later- I know it would have saved me a lot of heartbreak.
How is the top comment on every one of these to throw away the whole relationship?
Your havenât even discussed them.
You brushed them off with âminor issuesâ. When you lose yourself, you also detach from the relationship.
Maybe you should have a post about your actual issues and not the coping mechanism?
I would never say never go back but this is way too soon. You have not had a chance to try other relationships yet and she is probably just rebounding after getting her first rejection. Tell her you are not ready and will meet her in another three months when you have both had a chance to get some distance.
After 6 months you'll both be better placed to know if your are compitible or just lonely.
She has not had time to appreciate what you had and genuinely miss you imo. She has not had time to date properly and move on so its not an active genuine choice at this point its a fear response. She will run again unless she is sure it you above ALL others she wants.
Try things with Eva and you'll at least get some perspective on your previous relationship.
45 yr old guy here.
Respecting your partners mental and emotional comfort is KEY to a lasting relationship. You expressed your concerns and instead of changing her plans she doubled down and said HER EX will be joining the festivities. This is a deal breaker my friend. This isnât about you not trusting her. Itâs about her not respecting YOU!
Can you go with her? If not, can she cancel this trip and you go together to meet these people? Youâre too young for this level of insecurity.
My advice: be honest with yourself and tell her that you wonât be able to trust that nothing will happen in this trip. Better to breakup now and possibly stay friends then to never know if something may or may not have happened and breakup badly.
OK Iâm not sure how to respond to that because this whole thing is about her not trusting that you didnât cheat on her so you have a huge distrust thing going on. But I understand what youâre saying I actually believe you just so you know I just know how people are, and when they think something itâs really hard to change their mind without direct evidence. And then evidence is hard to come by in this case because of the situation. How do you prove you didnât delete things how do you prove that?