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he said to me he wanted to show her the photos, that’s why I know he took some. I know I can’t tell him to remove them.
Yes, you can because this is your boyfriend of four years. Why would he take it upon himself to take photos of another woman without her knowledge unless he was trying to flatter her?
This is absolutely not okay no matter how many times you try to make yourself feel completely normal about it.
You have put up with too much by watching this happen right in front of you and not saying anything about it. This behavior of his needs to stop or I would end the relationship because this is going to continue to eat away at you if it doesn’t.
Closure is not something she can give you. That’s entirely up to you.
Bro. First off. Hell no would I be comfortable with my SO being at a person's house 6+ hours to overnight. That's insane. Especially she just said all that to you?
…I’m morbidly curious about him calling rap “n— rap.” Is this to emphasize how terrible it is? To distinguish black rap from other, “””better””” types of rap? I must know.
Oh, the breakup question? Girl, why would you stay with a racist homophobe? Do you really need that kind of toxicity in your life? Hell, you yourself are queer, dude literally hates what you are. Life’s too short, go find a boy/girl/enby who’s actually a decent person.
If you're going to stay with this guy you may need to be saving up for egg harvesting/freezing. You obviously can't bring a child into an insecure situation like this but you're getting close to the age where conception might be more difficult. So maybe consider that if you truly think that in a year or two or five this guy will be able to get his life together.
Came up with a name but it might be a case that you described where it’s a different person
I think he was reacting to what you said. You guys need some serious communication.