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Just fyi, emotional safety comes from empathy. Either you understand them in some way (you empathize with them) or they have good validation skills (they express empathy for you). When it goes both ways is often when people feel the most emotionally safe.
So from the rest that you shared, the only attraction you feel is sort of a physical one, but not even that. It’s more that you’re attracted to him erotically, not physically. So four types of attraction, romantic, physical, emotional, and erotic, and the only one you have is erotic. So based on that, I’m going to cut to the chase. Fwb makes little sense since you’re not physically attracted to him. Romantic relationships totally out of the question since no romantic or emotional attraction. You are erotically attracted so maybe a friends with sexting benifits could work. But you say he’s immature, so that makes that a dicey idea.
So you have a decision to make, friends with sexting benefit’s but know it might imploded because he’s immature. Or just friends and ignore the erotic attraction due to his immaturity.
I think the fact he won’t discuss this or his feelings with you is a huge red flag. Are you ever going to be able to be comfortable in this marriage? You guys can’t even communicate. He just shuts down and you steamroll against his wishes.
Lawless, your BF's abusive behaviors and anger issues cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to his having very weak control over his own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills he had no opportunity to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If that is an issue for your BF, you likely have been seeing the following 4 red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, he started showing strong jealousy over harmless events — or started attempting to isolate you away from close friends and family? He would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing THEM over HIM. Moreover, he usually would hate to be alone by himself.
Second, you would be seeing him rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein he tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because he also uses B-W thinking when judging HIMSELF, he hates to acknowledge making a mistake. To him, it would mean he is “all bad.” He thus would blame nearly all mistakes on you and view himself as “The Victim.” Always “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” his victim status, he would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend himself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in his frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see him expressing his rages to casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. He usually gets along fine with them. Rather, the outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be expressed against a close loved one (e.g., against you or his parents).
Fourth, you are convinced he truly loves you. But you often have seen him flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells. These flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. And a few hours or days later, he could flip back just as quickly.
Lawless, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
Thanks for the nostalgia, grandma.
Please leave him so he has a chance to date someone who isn’t toxic and get yourself some therapy for your insecurity. You are emotionally abusive, dismissive of his feelings, and controlling.