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70's… then your comment was disrespectful and you already knew that. My guess it isn't the first such comment made by you at which she has taken offense… She felt disrespected, by the one person she thought would never do that. Evaluate if you want to remain in the relationship. If she won't answer your calls, you're truly repentant, at least write her and apologize.
You leave the ball in her court. No response? Move on.
I am opposed to separating your finances. Marital income is joint to both spouses. Expenses are joint. Debts are joint. Savings should be primarily be joint. I would emphasize paying all your debts off as quickly as possible. This should ease your wife's anxiety. Then keep the same discipline and load up your savings and house funds by a similar amount.
Your income should primarily go to expenses, with a small amount going to a personal savings account for you. Say $500/month. She should save the same amount until the debt is taken care of. The rest should be joint. It does not matter whose money goes into savings if they are joint. If you contribute to expenses and she puts into savings its moving family money, not her money. I would estimate this would allow for at least $2000/ month for debt repayment and $1000/month for savings or whatever ratio makes the both of you feel better.
I would be concerned she is wanting to decouple finances and moving home so she can divorce you. If you only work sporadically but you keep your home spotlessly clean should also help alleviate her stress.
If she is a whizz with budgeting have her teach you. Research the subject on your own. When you see where the money goes it will make it easier to acquire the discipline to reach your financial goals. Being fiscally responsible will ease tensions. Have a monthly review of your finances. Cook a nice dinner first, make it a positive experience. Pay the bills at this meeting.
It is satisfying to watch debt decline and savings increase over time. Maybe this will help motivate you to find better full time employment once you move.
If you were to decouple finances she should be funding a retirement fund for you at a rate equal to hers.
Good luck.
How old are you both? How long have you been together?
What did she say? Why were you looking through her phone?
Maybe he is still looking for answers.
Oh I completely agree. I don't agree with her behavior. I'm just saying if that is the type of woman you want to stay married to, that's the math your marriage relies on. So, if he wants to stay with someone of that mentality, that's what it takes. And now he knows.
And after all that he still hasn’t married you and probably won’t because of your insecurities.
Been there, this is pure manipulation. Don’t respond to any of the messages, block her and report it to the police.