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Yes! do you know what else struck me as odd… The fact that he has her sit down and they talk until they come to a conclusion with an argument.
Maybe it's just me, but I need some alone time to figure out my thoughts before I continue an argument. Like in theory his method works well because the issue gets resolved quickly. But with the comment “I know he won't apologize” makes me think he is just sitting her down and exhausting her to concede to his pov.
Speak to her. It seems like your gut feeling is telling you there’s definitely something there, and I don’t think you should disregard that, but in reality you still don’t know for sure. And at the off chance that it isn’t what it looks like, going to extremes like cameras and such or even just approaching her in an accusatory manner could do a lot of damage to your relationship. I think if you were to go that route the only thing I would condone would be to try pay attention to her phone passcode and go through it. But again, if there’s nothing going on that might lead to problems afterwards in terms of the trust in your relationship. Especially considering that you haven’t had any reason to think she’s cheating besides this, even looking back, right?
So yeah, I’d say talk to her. And if she literally has no explanation for the noises or her explanation doesn’t make sense, ask if she’d be comfortable letting you look at her phone immediately, without giving her a chance to delete anything. If she says no, then that would not be 100% cause she could feel disrespected about the accusation if it’s not true, but it be pretty telling still cause why not just show the phone. At the same time, you might not find anything in her phone regardless. So basically I think the bottom line is that this depends largely on how your conversation together goes and how you feel about it after. You should be able to speak to your partner about issues pertaining to your relationship. The only thing I’d say is to not go into the conversation in an accusatory way, but rather bring up a legitimate concern (brought to you by someone oblivious to the situation with no reason to lie) and ask her to explain.
Thank you, I actually appreciate the answer your giving me. It's never my intention to make my wife feel bad about these questions or her response or my response and i didnt think i was making her feel bad, to me it was just a question and to her it was just a answer and yes I have spoken about things I've done in the army, and yes she does not agree with all of it. Has she said ew to any of it, no. And I'm not saying ew to her response, I know it seems like I'm being unreasonable but that's why I came her to get another perspective other than just mine and hers. It wasn't ment to be so deep and volatile… I will apologize and learn from this moving forward.
Actually, I can and I have. But I have enough empathy to understand the needs of other people as well and I don’t suffer main character syndrome. So there’s that.
My advice is too let this go and move on, maybe get a toy. Clearly your disinterest was enough to turn her off from the idea, as it should. Fantasizing is about what could happen, not so much about what should and will happen.
Op, when people show you who they are, believe them! She showed you who she was and yet you went right back to her!
Doesn’t matter how much you invest into her hobbies, if she won’t lift one finger to invest in yours, it’s one sided.
I found that reaction to the word bizarre since he is clearly upset about what he found, maybe it’s another one of those words reserved for women only, like “emotional” isn’t a word often used to describe men even though they are extremely emotional and there’s nothing wrong with that.