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Jane Daniels, 20 y.o.
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Well i'm someone that has been through this and I expect others of the same ilk to agree with what i'm going to say next
Him doing this then trying to act like it didn't happen is the normal response, there are no chairs for me to fall off in surprise, my brow did not raise.
It's not something people without the experience will get but its pretty much hard-wired into emotionally abusive relationship terrorists, that hold themselves hostage.
Many will hit the criteria for Cluster B personality disorders which further explains why they do this (if you know about cluster b traits)
Reading this post just reminds me of that ex that constantly would “whats wrong with you” me just to create a drama out of thin air they could then end up calling me a cunt or making even worse threats
That person had bordeline personality disorder and when i finally stopped reacting to them and the suicide threats emergency, i again did what good people would do and tried everything and dropped everything, the threats kept coming until i rang for an ambulance when they made the last threat to me.
They never went back to that threat after hearing the sirens, they ran out of the house till it left as it was all done to hold me hostage into staying in an abusive relationship.
When that was off the cards (again never any discussion over the threat, they just pretended it never happened) they moved onto trying to report me to the police for DV, thankfully they were so unstable they admitted it in a txt so i went to the police before they did so they knew it would be a false allegation.
The familiarities between your post and mine also does not surprise me, what i learned was with cluster B and untreated BPD especially, your an actor in a terrible story that was written before you met them.
Look into BPD
/r/BPDlovedones may help but there are lots of people in there process high levels of trauma, so do some off reddit research on proper medical/psychology websites as well.
This may open your eyes to what is going on and more importantly, that it only gets worse if you stay.
Welll damn….you should've started off that he was military. One thing those military people gonna do is CHEAT….
did you really just say other ppl are being unfair to your bf? dude he's cheating on you. he will continue to do it. he's emotionally abusive and he's gaslighting you. maybe listen to the countless number of people telling you to leave instead of the one boy who's already proved he doesn't care about you. the only reason he's “improved” is bc he saw you were about to leave and he doesn't want to lose the sex. that's literally it. if he could have sex with her, do you think he would stay with you? like realistically, do you believe he would? i don't think you do believe that. no one is answering the question you're asking because your relationship was already over a long time ago and you're only hurting yourself by staying. Leave now before it gets even worse and harder to leave. I've been in ur situation a lot before and I'm also 22 and I have bpd so I definitely know how naked it is to leave but you have to force yourself to now, otherwise you'll just regret it later. this relationship isn't healthy and it can't be fixed, no matter how badly you or him want it to be. you'll always feel like you're second choice to her. do you really want to spend your life with someone like that? even if he does cut her off, what about the next girl? it WILL happen again except next time it'll probably be sexual and emotional. not to mention how many lies he's told you. like how asexual people don't know how to prioritize? that's such an obvious lie he told you, it's nude to see it when you're in it, but everyone replying is telling you the same thing and you should listen. and clearly the girl knows and is actively participating in the cheating too, that's the only reason she's even texting you is to get more info and get closer to you so she can spend even more time with him. they deserve each other, he'll cheat on her eventually anyways, and you deserve so much better. please
Look, you're allowed whatever boundaries you want, but she's asking to wait a few months before becoming fully physically intimate.
I'm not you, but yeah, pretty fucking reasonable dude.
all she says is that she doesn’t want to ‘rush’ and if I am not fine with that I am free to go what kind of hurts to be honest.
She's been open, honest, communicative, and she's absolutely right. If you're not into waiting, you're absolutely welcome to date someone else.
“Sorry cant go, celebrating my birthday that night. Its ironically the same exact day as my twins. Weird”