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He literally never said that? What are you quoting? The delusion ? He doesn’t like his gf posting pictures of HER ASS. That is seeking validation from strangers on the internet. He didn’t say anything about what she’s wearing. Sounds like you’ve never been in a healthy relationship where you openly communicate your feelings/ boundaries in a respectful manner ?
She's on her way out love. She's already emotionally checked out or she wouldn't have reacted defensively. She appears to be in a relationship with this other fellow and she's investing in it, obviously. She's willing to sacrifice your feelings in order to validate her own. That is not a partnership. Speaking from experience, you need to square away custody of your daughter and make sure you're legally sound in every way. She seems capable of not only blindsiding you but also acting over aggressively to achieve her goals. She will hurt you because she can. She's not considering you in any decisions she makes unless it involves getting caught in whatever nefarious deeds in which she's involved. You need to accept that this is happening, and that there is probably nothing you can say or do to rectify your position because she's already decided that you're out. She no longer regards you as an important figure, not only in her life, but she's also minimizing your importance in your daughter's life by being dismissive of not only your presence but also your position as father of your child. She's speaking for her daughter because she feels entitled to do so. She's already determined that the child you share is her child alone and that she and only she can or will make decisions on her behalf. You need to nip this in the bud before you lose whatever power you have left. Her mind is set. The only reason she hasn't said it outright is because she's still dependent upon you for something or many things. Does she work, what ground does she have to stand on without you?? If I were you, I'd begin to enact whatever custody maneuvers are needed to insure your parental rights and prepare for separation. You need her out of your life as soon as possible. She is exhibiting toxic behavior. You will want to react to this however, you must do your best to be a father first. No matter how she treats you, you must never take your frustrations out on the child. She is an innocent, and under the influence of her mother. You must stop and consider your steps consciously with your daughter's welfare in mind. Be smarter than she is. In the end, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish you and your daughter the best. Take care.
Disgusting. Unless you want to be a slave to this man for the rest of your life tell him to fuck off. You have a bunch of kids, you are out of work for a while, going back would be mostly pointless because of his salary. He decides to cheat on you and now you are beholden to him otherwise you are destitute.
I'd request a reasonable percentage of his wages increasing over time at a bare minimum. You should also spend a bit more time communicating with him. This may be an oversight by him, but he could also be an entitled asshole.
Nonetheless, I'm unsure of how to take it on the Tina front
Tell her it was a dick move for a start. Find out why she did it as well, maybe she'll apologise. Hopefully an honest conversation will get you to air your side of the greivance and then you can consider your next moves based on her responses.
Some credit to Sheila on actually stepping up to apologise, but your issues with Sheila are secondary to those with Tina.
I'd heard the advice of not having another child with him, even if you prove this one is his, he might still show favoritism if the other kid looks
She can regain your trust with the good behaviour. But the hurting will never goes away, moreover if she doesn't know she hurted you.
Tell her.
It is her only chance to keep you. And this chance is already not that big. You have nothing to loose but some weeks of anger.
He responds saying we will or stop talking about it etc?
I totally get why it is guys act like this, it's conditioning. Which sucks, I know.. But there's a reason it's referred to as “TOXIC masculinity”.. Because it is toxic, not just for the guys who bottle up their emotions, but for their friends who are hurt trying to support them too, like me.
I've tried talking to a few of my guy friends about it. Their response is almost always the same variety of:
“I'm not repressing anything, there's nothing wrong, you're just too emotional and need to stop reading into it.”
Or
“Ok I'll try” – Followed by no improvement whatsoever, lol.
How do you even help someone whose in complete denial that their behaviour isn't ok? What sucks the most is when they initially show that they care, then for whatever reason back track and become cold. It's frustrating.
I would never be ok if one of my kids said they had 2 girlfriends.