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Jenny and Alisa(blonde), 19 y.o.
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You are subsidizing your partner. If he doesn't make enough money to support himself with his current employment, he needs to find other employment, get a second job, or find someone to support him. It looks like he is being supported by you.
It might be a good idea to talk to him about making a career change. You should talk finances with him. If you feel uncomfortable carrying the financial burden for both of you, see how he feels about this. Maybe he has some ideas of his own on how to contribute more.
As a single parent it is your job to prioritize your children. Only you know if subsidizing his income will impact what you can do for your children. Extracurriculars, braces, college savings all add up. You need retirement savings, and emergency savings. That is a lot on your plate.
It sounds as if you are starting to resent this. Whether this is a deal breaker for you I don't know. I never had enough income to support another able bodied adult, and would not choose to start a relationship like that. 60k a year is not a lot in some areas, and could be really good in others. It depends on what you want your and your children's future to look like. He probably doesn't want to discuss it because there is no gain for him in discussing it. He has it good as it is. Why rock the boat?
I wish you luck in deciding what you want in the future.
Mental issues are unfortunate, but HIS don't have to be your cross to bear.
I had a much more healthy relationship than yours sounds, my wife being very good at many things. But she has trauma and exhibits all signs of BPD so I lived with the weight I'd her insecurities and fears being manifested as if they were real and thrust on me for almost a decade. It nearly broke me completely.
I wanted to help her because she's a good person. I wanted to stay in the relationship due to love and really she did help my life in other aspects.
But the weight of me trying to carry her emotional burden still destroyed me. The only thing I needed at the end of the day was someone who could come to me with their problems as if I was someone they loved, but the love disappeared at every new problem.
Long story: you have to be good for yourself first or you'll just be bad for him AND you. This relationship sounds completely awful with no redeeming qualities besides not being alone.
That’s exactly what it sounds like. Hold firm, find someone better 🙂
Then op can contest that in court, which i believe he will. That doesn’t make her a bad person. She probably wants to go far away to avoid pain so she doesn’t have to see op and his son and have to deal with his constant badgering about getting back together
Hahaha yeah I’ve made this LinkedIn mistakes in my past.
Finding a therapist can be overwhelming. Especially for someone who needs therapy. I can understand that. We’re gonna sit down and make a script and go through the list together.
If you were the new bf, you see that the ex is still part of her life. Will you be happy with that?