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That's nice that you consider SAH parenting as negligable compared to financial contributions, but not everyone sees it that way.
With my ex I was in your position. I enjoyed the occasional blunt with friends, but she was very adamant about it, and I didn't lie so I stopped doing it.
After the break up the first thing she told me she smoked for first time after denying me to me and getting upset.
Now, if someone is so against me drinking alcohol or smoking weed, I don't judge them, but we're not compatible. I'm not asking you or pressuring you, but I enjoy it, I wanna do it when I wanna do it, and I'm not gonna stop just because of some prejudice you have that doesn't have sense for me.
It's a reasonable request by him in my opinion and it's also reasonable for you to not be with him if you do not want to live with that request. Both of you are fine. Neither of you are being controlling. And… there are nearly always things like this in relationships. You need to figure out if it's really that big of a deal (I suspect you're more concerned about the controlling issue than being able to use weed, and I am speculating here because that is how I would feel and think). 55 yo me – after having gone through these things in relationships says…and many will disagree with this but here goes…I'd comply with the weed and alcohol request and when I go to Amsterdam I'd go without him, take my bestie and white lie for the sake of my relationship and enjoy some weed and booze, have a grand time and head home happy and never say a word. I think it's ok to have some harmless secrets in a relationship and I'd chalk this one up to a harmless secret because it won't hurt him. But that's me. And before you do something like that, you need to ask yourself how you'd feel if he did that to you – if you'd be ok with it, then move forward. If not ok with him having this type of secret then you should not do it- it'd be something you shouldn't do.
My first husband enjoyed weed and I hated it – so he stopped when we got married. Later I learned he'd smoke with his bestie once a year when they got together. Back then if I'd known I'd have been pissed (that was young me). Now, I'm glad he did. It didn't hurt me, he was honoring the spirit of our agreement which was I didn't want to be married to someone who was doped up or hurting their health; reality is that an occassional smoke out is not going to make you perma-high or kill you. So my advice is be “honest-ish”.
Get yourself a lawyer and get a court ordered paternity test on the basics that, if you are the father, you don't want to miss the opportunity to support the mother of your child and your unborn baby through this crucial time in your child's development. But, given that she cheated on you, it's too traumatic to be involved without knowing for certain. They'll make sure you get your answer as quickly as possible.
She reminds me of this episode of Criminal Minds that I just watched (s6e15). Your housemate is unhinged and I think the advice you've been given on here is good. Just be prepared for the backlash, because no way is her ego going to let her back down on this. Good luck x
Acab, simple as.
He was drunk and not in the mood. Its okay, it happens as your relationship gets richer, the need to express yourself will be more than sex
You’re both cheaters. I’m sure your relationship would be lovely lol good luck.
Look, one of three things is happening here.
He supports Trump and agrees with Trump on LGBTQ rights. He thinks you are a woman, even if he memorized different pronouns. He believes you don't really deserve rights because you're a “woman”, too, but especially because you're LGBTQ. He lies to you to get laid.
He doesn't see you as an equal human being, and he doesn't really love you.
He supports Trump but disagrees with Trump on LGBTQ rights. He just doesn't think they're more important than whatever he likes about Trump. To him, your safety and rights are less important than his tax bill. He wouldn't feel like this if it was his own rights, of course, so we're back to:
He doesn't see you as an equal human being, and he doesn't really love you.
He isn't really serious, he is just messing with you. He doesn't care about your feelings, and he doesn't really love you.
Honestly? Just leave. Don't try to fix this. It's been 2 years, he's not going to magically start seeing you as a person he should care about.
I know this sucks. It is very hot to realize that your partner doesn't see you as fully human. But you deserve to be loved! You deserve respect!
There’s a big difference between dictating someone’s life and having consideration for one’s husband (or wife). Nothing misogynistic about it.
It sounds like he’s just not getting what you’re trying to convey at all. Tell him point blank, sometimes you just want to cuddle/kiss/hold hands/be physical, even if it’s not just sexual