this is weird. obviously there are levels to a person and you’re not gonna tell everything on a first date but after a year and already dating, this is weird. you should have a discussion with him and ask what’s wrong.
Don't “try and be friends” I don't know better terminology but that's beta orbitter shit, she doesnt care enough about your to be honestso why should you spend your time and effort being nice to her? Tell her what you know once your assets are all organised and just leave
the only reason you want this is because you are holding out hope for things to get better or to give you the feelings you are nostalgic about from whenever in your past, it's better to just move on without her actions poisoning every interaction you have for the next decade
The only “stupid” thing is that you lied about it and you need to come clean, because lies poison relationship and the longer you lie the worse it gets. I work with a lot of people who haven't gone to college nor Uni and they are incredibly smart and they taught me a lot that have helped with me with my job that I didn't learn when I did my degree. One of the smartest people I know didn't even finish highschool, he helped me start my side business and has been one of my business and investment advisors. There is always multiple ways to be smart/intelligent, I was always book smart and it came easy to me, but there is other things I fell short on. I lacked creativity which a lot of people who weren't as book smart were better than me at, I'm still not the most creative person but I worked on it and learned from a friend and their thought-processes and creative enough to be good at for my job. There is nothing wrong with needing help, I actually think there is a problem with people thinking you don't need help at all, you can learn so much from others.
I would talk to her and establish things like not drinking while away on trips, or being available for a phone call in the evening. I would be much more concerned about the coverup than the mistake itself.
Having stricter boundaries is a consequence of the action. Avoiding them is unfair to her husband.
This is all around an extremely immature behaviour to be displaying in a relationship in your mid 20s.
Had the roles been reversed, she would have absolutely been livid with you.
Her friends claiming that they'll tell their boyfriends when the competition is over but that the competition “won't be an issue in their relationships” is extremely telling of what they actually know is the truth; that this competition is very disrespectful to their partners and they know it, but have zero intention of coming clean when it's over.
This is why modern dating is fucking exhausting. Because even when people have it good, they'll still be doing stupid shit to mess it up. Or they'll be doing shit like this because subconciously they're thinking the grass is always greener on the other side.
2 years is early, a house is a massive commitment. I would also be disappointed but logically I agree with your partner. Building a solid foundation in the relationship is a very responsible thing to do when making big life moves. He isn’t there yet, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want that n the future. Slow the timeline down. Enjoy your time together the house will happen just not right now
Soap box time- you started dating your ex when you were 21! You were likely learning how to love. The old folks always say “the first cut is the deepest” and that’s likely what you experienced.
You are waiting for your current relationship to be this mega deep love but to be candid, that’s usually not real nor long lasting. Those are the relationship where someone is usually lying out their ass, pulling a facade that they are really good at and you are just caught in the matrix. Then one day you see a glitch in the code and realize omg this was passionate and intense but it wasn’t real or lasting. You are not the first or the last to be waiting for this feeling to resurface.
Non popular belief- I don’t think being madly in love with someone should be the goal… I think healthy love of yourself and love of your partner is the goal. I don’t really think any of my head over heels in love friends are emotionally present enough to maintain other relationships. They always fall off the face of the earth when they are with that partner who makes them feel like that
this is weird. obviously there are levels to a person and you’re not gonna tell everything on a first date but after a year and already dating, this is weird. you should have a discussion with him and ask what’s wrong.
Don't “try and be friends” I don't know better terminology but that's beta orbitter shit, she doesnt care enough about your to be honestso why should you spend your time and effort being nice to her? Tell her what you know once your assets are all organised and just leave
the only reason you want this is because you are holding out hope for things to get better or to give you the feelings you are nostalgic about from whenever in your past, it's better to just move on without her actions poisoning every interaction you have for the next decade
What exactly is making it toxic?
The only “stupid” thing is that you lied about it and you need to come clean, because lies poison relationship and the longer you lie the worse it gets. I work with a lot of people who haven't gone to college nor Uni and they are incredibly smart and they taught me a lot that have helped with me with my job that I didn't learn when I did my degree. One of the smartest people I know didn't even finish highschool, he helped me start my side business and has been one of my business and investment advisors. There is always multiple ways to be smart/intelligent, I was always book smart and it came easy to me, but there is other things I fell short on. I lacked creativity which a lot of people who weren't as book smart were better than me at, I'm still not the most creative person but I worked on it and learned from a friend and their thought-processes and creative enough to be good at for my job. There is nothing wrong with needing help, I actually think there is a problem with people thinking you don't need help at all, you can learn so much from others.
How? Do y’all know me? What’s my real name and where do I live!? Lmao but ok. Baby I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of anything it’s LIFE
Offer to do absolutely nothing.
She says she “sobered up a bit” before walking to her car lol what more do you want
Yeah I think he’s just a hypochondriac. Nothing to break up with over but something to have a serious chat about
we are exclusive and definitely discussed that
I would talk to her and establish things like not drinking while away on trips, or being available for a phone call in the evening. I would be much more concerned about the coverup than the mistake itself.
Having stricter boundaries is a consequence of the action. Avoiding them is unfair to her husband.
You’re so welcome! I look forward to seeing an update. 🙂
I’m glad you found someone who sounds like he’s definitely going to fall head over heels for you! ?
I’m sure it will work out well. It always feels good when someone makes you feel special like this. ?
This man grooms.
That sounds great!
100% – he’s a predator. He just wants someone he can control. Textbook emotional abuser.
This is all around an extremely immature behaviour to be displaying in a relationship in your mid 20s.
Had the roles been reversed, she would have absolutely been livid with you.
Her friends claiming that they'll tell their boyfriends when the competition is over but that the competition “won't be an issue in their relationships” is extremely telling of what they actually know is the truth; that this competition is very disrespectful to their partners and they know it, but have zero intention of coming clean when it's over.
This is why modern dating is fucking exhausting. Because even when people have it good, they'll still be doing stupid shit to mess it up. Or they'll be doing shit like this because subconciously they're thinking the grass is always greener on the other side.
2 years is early, a house is a massive commitment. I would also be disappointed but logically I agree with your partner. Building a solid foundation in the relationship is a very responsible thing to do when making big life moves. He isn’t there yet, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want that n the future. Slow the timeline down. Enjoy your time together the house will happen just not right now
WHY?!?!!!! Why are you married to this person?!? Just why?!!? She berates you, insults you and when she is being kind negs and emasculates you.
Divorce her. She has a GED and no job? Too bad, her problem.
Soap box time- you started dating your ex when you were 21! You were likely learning how to love. The old folks always say “the first cut is the deepest” and that’s likely what you experienced.
You are waiting for your current relationship to be this mega deep love but to be candid, that’s usually not real nor long lasting. Those are the relationship where someone is usually lying out their ass, pulling a facade that they are really good at and you are just caught in the matrix. Then one day you see a glitch in the code and realize omg this was passionate and intense but it wasn’t real or lasting. You are not the first or the last to be waiting for this feeling to resurface.
Non popular belief- I don’t think being madly in love with someone should be the goal… I think healthy love of yourself and love of your partner is the goal. I don’t really think any of my head over heels in love friends are emotionally present enough to maintain other relationships. They always fall off the face of the earth when they are with that partner who makes them feel like that
Give him blow and hand jobs