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After reading all these comments I realize that I have been trying too naked to defend my friend. Her fiancé deserves to know who he is marrying. I still think that after 25 years of friendship I owe it to her to give her the chance to tell him herself first, so I'll start there. Fingers crossed that she is willing to come clean. If not I will find another way to let him know. Thanks everyone for your help and I will keep you updated.
Not all religion’s hinge on the idea of only one religion being correct. In the case of Hinduism, Buddhism and other eastern philosophies most religions are just different paths to the same thing. I suggest maybe learning the basics of a religion if you’re going to try to speak for it.
Awesome, yeah some of those unfortunately won't work with my situation at home. But I'll try the methods I can next time! Thank you, hopefully this works
Honestly, you gotta take responsibility for what you did. Slapping someone is not cool, no matter how angry or out of control you felt. That's abuse, plain and simple. And it sounds like your GF has some serious trust issues from her past relationship, so hitting her would have been especially triggering for her.
You're right that you and your GF were both dealing with some personal stuff at the time of the incident, but that's not an excuse for what you did. And now you're feeling all messed up about it months later, which is totally understandable.
I think the first step for you is to take accountability for what you did, apologize to your GF, and really try to understand why you snapped like that. It might be worth considering couples counseling to help you work through the underlying issues in your relationship and how you can avoid violence in the future.
As for your GF's recent crush, that's definitely something you need to talk about. It's possible that she's feeling unfulfilled in your relationship and is looking for something outside of it. It's also possible that she's just going through a phase and it's nothing to worry about. But either way, it's something you need to discuss as a couple.
In the end, it sounds like you're trying to do the right thing and make things work with your GF, but it's going to take a lot of work and self-reflection on your part. And if at any point, either of you don't feel safe or happy in the relationship, it might be time to consider moving on. Remember that any kind of relationship should bring you happiness, not just make you satisfied.
The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit. This doesn’t sound like a good fit. So don’t marry her FFS.
Also, what changed? What are her reasons when you discuss it? Have you two done any premarital couples counseling? Is it something she wants to change or is she fine with the status quo?
You can both go out and have fun at a party and think about your future. My understanding of “acting single” would mean casual dating and not a stable partner.
Maybe you picked an odd example of lack of compatibility so hard to say.
All in all, people change and grow up at different speed. So technically you can grow into being compatible in some areas but not all.
she might just be an analytical person – i’m the same way, if someone spends more on a gift for me than i would be willing to spend on that thing, it’s essentially inefficient and a waste as the value it provides for me is less than the value you spent to get it. it’s not so much about the money as it is “if you’re going to be out x dollars on my behalf i would rather that be put toward something that’s worth that much to me” in her case, a date or whatever you guys end up doing. i get called ungrateful for thinking like this too though haha
You did the right thing. I had a friend (female) who was molested by her father for years when she was a preteen and teenager. She acted out sexually and ruined our friendship because she would sleep with anyone, and actively pursued guys I was interested in. She obviously never told anyone because now her Instagram is filled with photos of her 2 young children in the lap of grandpa dearest. I can’t imagine hiding a secret like that at the expense of one’s own children. Disgusting.
I also enjoy this communication style. It feels unnatural to me to be accessible all the time. People lived just fine going two days between dates not so long ago. It feels like we've pivoted in an unhealthy way to favoring a quantity of interaction from quality.