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I feel just terrible for your wife; she's the one that made the mistake. You've likely already given her a terrible hang-up and made things way worse. Divorce and get yourself therapy or someone as shallow as yourself. This is so, so sad.
As someone who was essentially raised by my stepdad and who was always treated like I was just as much his daughter as my half-sister, this post makes me sad. It’s not about the money, it’s about the distinction between ‘my kids’ and ‘not my kids.’ Since OP says 13F thinks of his wife as family, being excluded from something like this would hurt her. OP needs to talk to his wife about this some more.
This doesnt help with the problem
Just insist that she walk the dog daily, cold and wet or not. When she says “it's boring,” you say “The dog needs it” and “take a different route then.”
Limit your own dog walking to your work breaks when she is at the office. Make her think the dog never gets walked.
It's okay to make idle threats to an animal, they don't understand the words but just the tone. However, if you had kids in the home and they heard her say she would kick the dog, that would be emotional abuse (to the kids – not the dog). Since that doesn't apply, don't stress over this.
BTW that sounds like a really cute dog!
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We've talked about this and she said that it's guaranteed we'll be having sex after marriage.
He’s still hung up on that girl otherwise he wouldn’t still be keeping tabs on her.
Thats alright. I learned from it and try to parent my son better and try not be like her.
I grew up in a similar culture. Always support your parents no matter what yada yada yada. I always gave her some slack cause my mother grew up in our home country till she was a adult so while I know she as well is like this cause of how she grew up I don’t excuse it.
Think of yourself first and what kind of relationship you want to have with her. If you don’t wanna do something then just don’t. You’re not selfish for choosing yourself and only doing stuff you wanna do
Thank you for validating my feelings. I know that I should be more angry but it’s nude when he doesn’t seem to understand where he went wrong in the situation and I just don’t want to argue anymore.
It doesn’t help that I don’t uphold my boundaries and the expectations that I hope for in our relationship. I’m still working on navigating that.
yeah, it’s really been weighing on me recently. it’s confusing because he really is sweet and caring when it’s just us together, but when i hang out as a group with him and my best friend i can’t help but get the feeling that he still has feelings for her…
Oh hell no. I’d raise hell over this situation. That’s so disrespectful and shady af. I’d ask to see messages between the two of them
Why the hell would you try to get these 2 abusive men to sit down and talk to your son? Do you realize the trauma the poor baby would go through? I'm so glad he said no. Please protect your child. I don't know you, but I would bet good money that you are not ready for a relationship with anyone but your son and a therapist.
You do realise that by asking her to cut him off you are asking her to step away from her entire circle of friends who also know him and her family to walk on eggshells around you to try and accommodate your insecurity right?
Sometimes exes are a problem and sometimes they arent. She has decided shes ok with him around and you either accept this or leave, nobody would blame you. Dont be that insecure boyfriend who has her friends and family trying to decide whether they can arrange something cause “you” will be there.
Sounds like he’s been dating/married to someone else the whole time and you are someone he’s attracted to as a side piece to his day-to-day life. I’ve known guys like this who like to stoke the sparks to get that dopamine hit but then is cold/aloof otherwise. I sincerely doubt he’s your love of your life because he gives you exactly nothing in return for all of your efforts.
She shouldn’t go on this trip because it’s dangerous.
On another note, when you’re in a relationship your partner is allowed to exist beyond you and do things without you. It sounds like you just don’t want her going on a trip not that you’re worried for her safety. That’s not ok. If it was for months that would be a discussion, but just a holiday for a week or two shouldn’t be an issue between two mature adults.
Time will not fix her son’s penis