As a non-native speaker, I clicked on the title with full curiosity, actually sure to find another non-native speaker having trouble with his partner not liking pigs.
I only attribute it to being very tired that it took me quite a few comments until I realized the truth…
Look, as someone who considers my husband to be my best friend, let me tell you what true love is.
True love is not a turbulent whirlwind of excitement and adrenaline. True love has the same vibe of sitting cuddled up in a warm cosy cabin with a fire burning in the hearth and snow gently falling outside the window. It's not meant to be a rush of excitement. It's meant to be comfortable. My relationship with my husband is exactly that. Warm and comfortable and relaxing and gentle and safe. It's not about always wanting to jump into bed with each other. It's wanting to always be side by side. To hold each other. To respect each other. To be forever comfortable and warm in each other's presences.
The “high” of being constantly wild and turbulent is not true love. It's lust/infatuation. It's being obsessed with the idea of a person (or the perfect image you have of that person when they aren't showing their flaws), not actually bonding with them as a soulmate.
But, that said,
It's only been six months. Now is NOT the time to get married.
You need to spend longer together, to truly know each other and your relationship. Because yes, sometimes things will fizzle out, or you will notice flaws that weren't present during the honeymoon period.
And what I will say is this: you personally need more time to learn what a healthy relationship feels like. It's not a good idea to immediately latch on to the first person you have found a healthy relationship with just because you're finally in a place of emotional safety.
I am not saying break up. I am saying do give your relationship a chance, but put off things like marriage or major commitments until you know you're ready and that your partner really is the one, and that you're not just clinging to him because he's the only person who's ever provided a healthy safe relationship for you.
Yeah I would tell him that this is a major concern for you. Sexuality compatibility is really important and you don’t want to sign up for a life with no pleasure.
Tell him that you need to see him putting in real effort to address this or you’re going to have to leave in order to honor your own needs.
Also, FWIW, I’ve known quite a few guys who are cool with getting off by women but are basically repulsed by giving or anything vagina related. Most of them have come out as gay at this point
I have told him I thought it’s sexual assault and he just gaslights me into thinking I’m crazy or I should’ve said something during the act. I truly don’t think he cares.
She doesn’t want to break up, she was using that to get her way. Now that you followed through, she is panicking because you are literally taking care of her, a grown ass adult is acting like a child. You are taking away her meal to ticket.
And GOOD FOR YOU! Do NOT let her manipulate you anymore! She will DO EVERYTHING she can to try to get you back….DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER AGAIN! She will definitely try to have sex with you, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if oops she is all of a sudden pregnant.
Kick her out, tell her you did what she asked and now there is no going back.
I think you seek therapy for yourself, find a new apartment, and ghost the bf.
As a non-native speaker, I clicked on the title with full curiosity, actually sure to find another non-native speaker having trouble with his partner not liking pigs.
I only attribute it to being very tired that it took me quite a few comments until I realized the truth…
Look, as someone who considers my husband to be my best friend, let me tell you what true love is.
True love is not a turbulent whirlwind of excitement and adrenaline. True love has the same vibe of sitting cuddled up in a warm cosy cabin with a fire burning in the hearth and snow gently falling outside the window. It's not meant to be a rush of excitement. It's meant to be comfortable. My relationship with my husband is exactly that. Warm and comfortable and relaxing and gentle and safe. It's not about always wanting to jump into bed with each other. It's wanting to always be side by side. To hold each other. To respect each other. To be forever comfortable and warm in each other's presences.
The “high” of being constantly wild and turbulent is not true love. It's lust/infatuation. It's being obsessed with the idea of a person (or the perfect image you have of that person when they aren't showing their flaws), not actually bonding with them as a soulmate.
But, that said,
It's only been six months. Now is NOT the time to get married.
You need to spend longer together, to truly know each other and your relationship. Because yes, sometimes things will fizzle out, or you will notice flaws that weren't present during the honeymoon period.
And what I will say is this: you personally need more time to learn what a healthy relationship feels like. It's not a good idea to immediately latch on to the first person you have found a healthy relationship with just because you're finally in a place of emotional safety.
I am not saying break up. I am saying do give your relationship a chance, but put off things like marriage or major commitments until you know you're ready and that your partner really is the one, and that you're not just clinging to him because he's the only person who's ever provided a healthy safe relationship for you.
Yeah I would tell him that this is a major concern for you. Sexuality compatibility is really important and you don’t want to sign up for a life with no pleasure.
Tell him that you need to see him putting in real effort to address this or you’re going to have to leave in order to honor your own needs.
Also, FWIW, I’ve known quite a few guys who are cool with getting off by women but are basically repulsed by giving or anything vagina related. Most of them have come out as gay at this point
Either there’s more to this or your boyfriend needs psychological help. I’m inclined to believe the former.
You're a catch.
Move on to somebody who appreciates you are.
I have told him I thought it’s sexual assault and he just gaslights me into thinking I’m crazy or I should’ve said something during the act. I truly don’t think he cares.
She doesn’t want to break up, she was using that to get her way. Now that you followed through, she is panicking because you are literally taking care of her, a grown ass adult is acting like a child. You are taking away her meal to ticket.
And GOOD FOR YOU! Do NOT let her manipulate you anymore! She will DO EVERYTHING she can to try to get you back….DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER AGAIN! She will definitely try to have sex with you, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if oops she is all of a sudden pregnant.
Kick her out, tell her you did what she asked and now there is no going back.