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It sounds like he is still emotionally connected to her.
If he really wanted to squash his ācrushā he would have stopped communicating with her on a personal level, and would only talk to her at work for work purposes.
To be clear, he confessed to seeing this woman and pursing a relationship with her prior to him tell you? So he was cheating on you (at least emotionally). He then confessed to you and then decided to āstick it outā when you didnāt get upset and said you would let him go if he was happy.
You deserve better. Someone who is fully committed to you!
Also, who says this woman is obsessedā¦him? I bet heās been misleading her just like heās doing to you.
He's fucking lying to your face. I'm sorry š
I tried that approach. My husband escalated from porn to hookers. I would not advise this course of action.
She was essentially a surrogate without a contract.
Imo, tell her that he has a new girlfriend and that they should work with her to support him.
Your girlfriend ought to realize that if she's 31 now and won't even consider having any kid for at least 2.5 years, you might be her last, best hope of having any kids at all. I know fertility doesn't end at 33 or so, but she'd be looking at a whole new relationship to start, if she found anyone suitable at all.
The whole thing sounds like a power struggle. You've met her more than halfway with agreeing to two, but she's not willing to budge.
Since you are contemplating breaking up anyway, you might make the ultimatum that if she will agree to stopping at two, you'll marry; if not, you need to break up now. I really don't think it's wise to keep arguing about this for the next five years!
Reddit is such a cesspool of “nice guys”, sorry you're being downvoted.
Your boyfriend's abuse will not get any better. It's time to address this issue with him by talking with him, or let this one go. I just don't see this ending well, staying with somebody who is so young yet disrespects women. It must be learned behavior from his father or another male figure that modeled this behavior.
Calling you names is problematic. “I'm just kidding” leads to abuse without the “I'm kidding”. He actually does feel that way about you, but knows it's wrong on some level to call women “slt”. Leave while you can.
Trust me, she doesn't care that much. Her job made it convenient for her to be in your city for a hookup, so she suggested it. She's not gonna turn up at your graduation two years later. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you didn't leave that big of an impact on her.
We donāt online near each other. That probably plays a part.
Yeah, this isnāt a typical āReddit tells everyone to get a divorceā situation going on. I was in an abusive relationship for years and they ALL HAVE THE SAME M.O. It took almost a decade before the emotional abuse became physical. I think the thing that really got me to leave was a friend asked me how I would feel if someone was treating my sister that way. It had never occurred to me before then how much Iād lost my self worth until I saw it from this perspective. I hope you open up to friends and family the extent of whatās going on if they donāt already know. This person doesnāt love you. They just want control and Iām worried for you because of the extent of their manipulation and gaslighting. Leaving a relationship like this can be terrifying and you should have a plan to stay with friends or family, get all your important paperwork together and gtf outta there while heās not home. He wants a divorce? Call his mf bluff NOW before itās to late.