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Your relationship is completely transactional. It's pretty gross that the only reason he'd bother putting any effort in is to get his dick sucked.
Just so you're aware, not all guys are like this. Some of them actually care, and want to spend time just having fun.
I don't even know what to say about the tantrum your “boyfriend” threw. That is beyond disgusting. He is incred,………….ibly selfish and imma
Very much disagree with this mindset.
It is inherently toxic and just a competition of pettiness and distrust. OP shouldn't be in a relationship, much less married if she can't handle the IDEA of being cheated on, let alone actually being cheated on.
Husband is a dickhead for going along with it while knowing she has issues with all of it, but again, if OP has these issues and trauma that she can't get over, then she shouldn't be committing to marriage in the first place until she KNOWS that the guy won't cheat, but at the end of the day you can never know that your partner won't cheat, that's why you have to be able to trust each other, if you can't, you shouldn't be in a relationship.
And the whole “You should see how HE feels!”, at best he doesn't give a shit because he himself is aware that strip clubs are just an excuse to see attractive people in as little clothing as possible, if not naked. At worst, as I said at the start, it's a petty game of who can hurt who the most or judge the other for what they do in a scenario.
It's like getting upset that a girl wants to watch Magic Mike, why shouldn't she be fine to watch a bunch of hard guys doing whatever they do in the movie, there will always be people more attractive than you, have a bigger dick, have bigger/perkier tits than you, a bigger/better shaped ass than you, have a better body, look more attractive, have better hair, etc etc. You can have strip clubs be a deal breaker, that is absolutely fine and I support any deal breaker, because it's unique to how you feel and both parties can say “You did the thing I said not to do so we're done” or “I don't view the thing I did as an issue so we're done”, but make them crystal clear and show you will stick to you BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED.