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Motivation has to come from within himself, you can’t create it for him.
That said, you can tell him that you’re interested in building a long term life with someone and you won’t be able to do that with him if he doesn’t get it together. That there’s a time limit on how long he can dither before it becomes clear that he won’t be a solid long term partner. And mean it.
How serious should you take this? Depends. Do you want to be referred to as Dad?
Seriously, she admitted that she would poke a hole in your condoms and isn't on birth control. She is plainly telling you that she had zero respect for your opinions on how your life will play out. That would be a deal breaker for me. What other life decisions will she force on you in the future? Baby trapping is disgusting.
Despite this, we had a lot of beautiful moments together. It’s very hot to accept that this may all have been an act. It was so real to me.
Whether that’s the question doesn’t change the needed answer. Especially with a 3 month relationship but maybe you need to learn the hard way.
Saying people are moving away doesn’t imply they are moving to the same location. The country is a large place.
When are you leaving? Is your plan to online on your own initially or move with your family? Is your family moving to that location? If your relationship didn’t work out would you still choose the same location he is moving to?
Find a divorce lawyer and have him or her explain the process to you. That will take away so many of the unknowns which are holding you back. You didn’t mention any kids, which makes this a whole lot easier. Stop having sex with her; you don’t want to knock her up and make leaving harder.
Once you know the legal ramifications, you work on an exit plan. Protect yourself from any physical lashing out she might do. Involve her parents or friends to look after her if you’re concerned for her well being. But you don’t need to keep setting yourself on fire to keep her warm.
Then you need to start the formal eviction process. She's not living in a fairytale, she knows she's taking advantage and as you say, gaslighting you.