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I have a tip for you: you should feel single. She’s downplaying it all.
BDSM is never done in anger. This was straight up abuse.
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People come here and on sex sub and argue how effective it is.
Yeah that was a needle scratch for me too….it definitely is not a good solution.
But the thing is that by you hoping there’s more, that’s not just being friends… your friendship has a string attached that’s actually a rip cord to turn into a relationship.
It’s impossible to have an actual friendship when you have this element involved.
She’s doing what you should be doing. The advice if you reversed situations would be this “Do some self inventory and see if you can even actually be friends—and then if you can, tell her you want to respect her needs but you need a little space to let your feelings untangle so you can get back to being friends without it being loaded emotionally”
She has said no and you need to respect that. You need to leave her be and move forward. It may feel unfair and some times that’s how it shakes out. But it would be way more unfair for you to disregard her boundaries because of your wants
This makes me so sad. Im afraid it might damage my relationship with my bf too, we’ve been together for 3 years and im scared suddenly putting a bit more space between us and not allowing his dog to be around mine may upset him and get him to resent me. I feel ive tried everything with his dog but he turns around and allows her, encourages, and rewards her poor behavior KNOWING im about to have this puppy around.
The only thing I can agree with him about is that she should have told her parents first. She likely knew how they felt about lesbians so dropping this bomb by bringing her girlfriend in person plus while company was in attendance was IMO a pretty risky move.
I’m not after multiple, just an honest conversation instead of “surprise, none for you.”
It's nude though, because I love him so much and I don't want to give up on him. I mean, I moved five states away from home to be with him, if that's says anything about my feelings for him.
I feel like maybe he's not where he wants to be in life currently and that's why he's so negative about it. So maybe when he gets to a happy place in life, he will be happier? I don't know. I just want to help him. :/ He has a good side, trust me, but he has a lot of red flags about him too. I feel like he will work on himself though eventually and better himself and I want to stick around to watch it happen.. but I don't wanna screw myself over if he never changes.
Honestly I hate how giving I am in relationships. I give everything I can and even when I receive sh!t in return I will still try and love the person through it. Its not my favorite quality about myself. I wish I could be the type of person to just call it quits when I feel disrespected, undervalued, and mistreated–which are all ways he has made me feel– but I'm just not that type of person. :/
Incompatibility is the word.
Complaining won't change a thing.
His living conditions are part of who and how he is.
You need to chose if you want this for your future.
If not…. move on.
I didn't think you did. A lot of people are making assumptions, or imagine you stewing in silent resentment instead of processing, just because they can't imagine needing time to process. But what you describe here isn't abnormal, and days (if it's really a matter of days) isn't an unreasonable time frame at all.
Just keep bringing the conversation back to your issue when you communicate. Even if you there's something wrong with your timing, bringing up the issue at that time still is deflecting from what the point of the conversation is supposed to be about. You can tell her you can address it again later, but you need to address your issue first.