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Thank you for the advice.
I get what you’re saying but I don’t think that’s the case here. Seems like he’s the boyfriend and not the HUSBAND after 9 years because he was holding out for another woman.
God, what a lose your boyfriend is.
He’s gonna flood his engine if he keeps turning his car on without driving it around.
This is terrible advice. Do not do this. Take a screenshot of the money that is currently there and go through the courts for division.
yea…. thats her basically telling you that she is perfectly okay cheating on you “if youre away” and justifying it by saying you can also cheat while away bc “its not that bad” smh… shes more than likely cheating on you now and trying to use the ole “its ok” to make it so you dont have a leg to stand on when she gets caught…. time to send her to the curb.
i find out and its not the case at all. in 6 years he never did anything harmful to me
I would have loved to show it to her, she still hasn't even opened my texts, and at this point I'm done trying. This isn't the first time she's blatantly called me a liar even when I had proof
What gets me most is that he tells you you have stuff to work on but won’t tell you what it is? If he won’t communicate with you, the relationship will probably go nowhere. Or somewhere very toxic.
Maybe he needs a friend more than you do and he's just being awkward about it.
I think you just need to be blunt – your situation has changed and you're not open to adding friendships now. You are focusing on yourself. All the best.
Or maybe… You could benefit from a new friend. As annoying as he is. I don't know lol
Damn I never thought about it like that. We can hardly get through a date without some kind of argument
I keep thinking that it’s my trauma and not his fault, but I can’t help but worry about the next time he gets drunk
As you should. Whether you want to admit it or not, your BF sexually assaulted you while he was drunk.
How do I address this situation in a way he will understand?
What exactly is he not understanding? You've told him (in broad strokes) about your past trauma and you told him that he basically assaulted you the other night, I'm not sure what he could possibly be confused about.
should I just ignore it because he didn’t mean any harm?
I think it's a bit of a leap to say that he didn't mean any harm. Drunk or not, he's still responsible for his actions.
How many times did he keep trying after you said no? How many times did you have to physically push him off before he stopped? You can't accidentally rape someone. What he did, he did with the intentions to have sex with you regardless of what you wanted. Does that sound like someone that doesn't mean any harm to you?
Is it just my trauma speaking?
No. Your trauma is obviously part of this and is no doubt making it more difficult for you to deal with these events, but if your BF hadn't tried to rape you then he wouldn't have triggered your trauma. Your trauma is telling you to be careful because the man you thought was loving and trustworthy just tried to rape you, maybe you should listen to it.
It tastes perfectly fine. He’s trying to neg you into not expecting cunnilingus from him whilst demanding fellatio from you.
He’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Manipulating you.
He doesn’t sound worth the effort tbh
So firstly I think you need to put this into perspective for yourself. You don't actually online that far away. It's 24 (at a minimum) hours by plane for us. You might want to look into transport options that are faster because w couple of hours by plane or whatever is basically nothing.
The second thing you need to do is ask where your daughter's behaviour is actually coming from. Our children never did this despite being old enough to remember their home country. I've never heard of children behaving like this over grandparents living in a different country actually. I suspect that your daughters behaviour is actually stemming more from yours than an internal struggle she may be feeling, for her being away from her grandparents should just be normal. I would suggest seeking some therapy both for yourself and your daughter. You absolutely must abstain from expressing your own feelings on the matter to your daughter from now on, that's absolutely not ok, most people would call that emotional abuse.
i think honestly i’m just looking for someone to maybe give me a reason why he might’ve done that… because in my mind it doesn’t make any sense and i’m very frustrated by the fact that i know he loved me when we broke up and he didn’t want the breakup to happen… so why not do it literally a week earlier?
He’s negging you. He’s trying to make you feel insecure so you’ll sleep with him. Every single thing he’s done SCREAMS this. – you’re 24, he’s 36 = women his own age aren’t interested in him and/or he wants a younger woman cuz they tend to put up with shit us older women would NEVER stand for – pushy and inappropriate and rudely oversexual right from the start = that’s him “setting your expectations” that he’ll want to bang you right away – he would’ve picked up on the fact that you hadn’t made up your mind about sleeping with him right away, and so he shifted into neg mode to try and whittle your confidence down so you’d sleep with him the next time
This guy is a tool. He’s trying to manipulate you. You sound like a nice person so it’s having an effect. You deserve better, I promise. (We all do, this guy sounds pathetic.)