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Sounds like she is a furry. Are you able to date someone like thar? Is that someone you see yourself marrying? If not, I would cut my loses now.
look you’re 30, it’s a risk to take, you either commit or not man because while you’ll be overthinking she’ll find a husband and pop some kids
Yeah, it often turn into a negative spiral where you both just keep repeating the same things, this builds resentment and drains you both.
Say something happen to you and you tell your bf. A guy's first thought will be, how do we fix this and will try to do so. And that's where the disconnect happens because you just want to be comforted or listened to. So next time that happens, how about telling him, either before or after you tell him about it that you don't need a fix or advice, you just need someone to listen and maybe comfort you, be there for you.
Your concern seems to be mainly about yourself and how to get her to look how you want. You say you love her deeply, yet in reality it's pretty shallow and conditional if a weight gain of 20-30lb is enough for you to stop finding her attractive. If you stay together, one or both of you may put on weight, change shape, acquire a disability, get old. A lasting relationship needs deeper roots than this.