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We met on an live! forum that was related to babies and pregnancy, and we ended up adding each other on snap and exchanged some pics. She explained that she's looking for a guy to be a sperm donor through natural insemination. I told her I would be open to it but do not want any role in fathering the child or paying child support, and she said she just wants to get pregnant and, while she would like for a me to visit for birthdays and special events, it's okay if I play no role.
She lives about 7 hours away from me and said she's going to be ovulating in the next couple of days and offered to drive to my city now to impregnate her and that her 12-year-old son is currently at her mom's house which means now is a good time to come. She then became a little more hesitant and said she may need to talk to her mom to make sure she can babysit him for the entire time. I said we can always go next month and that later works better because I also would need to make arrangements with my work schedule. And she agreed.
I know this all sounds like a huge red flag scenario, but I wanted to have a child of my own, even if I don't father him/her. I've always had this desire, but I cannot explain it. I'm just worried about the possibility of her changing her mind on child support and attempting to track me down (she only has my name and general location now and plans to drive back after I impregnate her).
Am I dumb for considering going through with this?
Bro cut ur loss and move it.. idk how ur still with her
I’m talking about oP.
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Spamming this question the every reddit forum will not change our advice….
also I did just read it and I feel for you man. I really do. No one deserves to be treated like that. But I stand by what I wrote.. She did all of this behind your back and continues to do so. Then she will get upset with you for going thru her phone and try to turn it around on you. Then will beg for your forgiveness when the other guy finds out you dumped her ass and now he is the next guy in line, which he doesnt want to be at all. You have to break up and go no contact. You will never trust her again im afraid.
During the argument he was very defensive, and despite me saying several times that I understand what he is saying I was caught off-guard at the moment because he had never mentioned anything of the sort before despite me asking about it several times, and that I needed some time to process this (I get quiet and a bit introspective when I’m processing my thoughts).
He then proceeded to say he’s been great to me, he’s been very respectful, very caring (which is all true) and that I shouldn’t be upset. I agreed he’s all that, but told him I was feeling a bit hurt and I needed to digest this emotionally as I didn’t want to make this a huge argument. I repeated this for the two hours of the argument, until I decided I would return home that evening instead of next morning as I had a lot of luggage to carry with me.
He did not like it and said I was acting childish, and that I couldn’t ask for him to be honest with me and then react badly when he does. I don’t think I reacted badly, I was emotional as I felt like I overstepped his boundaries (even though I didn’t know they were there), and I was just silent/ processing things. I didn’t shout/ accuse him or anything, rather agreed with what he was saying.
It was good to read in your comment about the time he might’ve had to process and assess how he’s feeling. It helps me put things in perspective, and I do truly understand him and I think it was a fair point to raise.
Thank you for your advice
Live! can work fine if it’s video which basically all teletherapy would be. But church-based can generally be less effective.
The standards women set for men these days. SMH