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He wonât allow a joint account
My wages are transferred into his bank account
I'm sorry but, as an outsider, this is super concerning. He's essentially running a joint account that you don't have access to. It's one thing if you don't have access to his money. But your OWN?? That's a huge red flag. Additionally, you say he's only abusive 10% of the time, but the things you describe sound like a constant thing. Sure they may take up a short period of his time in the day (like the eye rolling etc) but I'm almost sure they take up waaay more of your day since you have to restructure how you think/talk/behave in order to not upset him or whatever.
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She dumped me because I didnât respond quickly enough
I (M27) went out with this woman (F22) and the date went amazing. It was like love at first sight. We ended up spending the whole day together. She was beautiful, intelligent and funny. We had an emotional connection and found comfort in one and other. Iâm moving to her city and I really think that this could be going somewhere with her. She is good at responding back to me because we write in her mother tongue and a intermediate language of mine. Iâm not the best at texting and is currently really busy.
We were supposed to with each other tomorrow but something happened today.
She texted me 2 days ago that she needed to talk to me. I asked if she could text because I was out and didnât thought much about it because we were going to see each other soon anyways. She then texted me that we wanted to clarify that I shouldnât be with her if I wanted to get laid. Not that it had anything to do with my actions but it was important for her that I knew and understood that fully. I forgot to respond back that evening and the whole day after that. She now wrote this:
Listen, itâs totally ok that you arenât on your phone or texting me back right away. However, when Iâm opening about whatâs on my mind or trying to make an appointment I expect a respond. Iâm sorry but Iâm worth more than this. I donât think we should see each other again. Be safe?
Iâm really confused and sad now. We talked about it as well the last time so I didnât knew she wanted reassurance again. I really thought there was something. I really really like her. She doesnât answer me now, whatâs your thoughts about this?
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ClearlyâŚ
When my husband was âworking outâ with a woman and purposefully not disclosing that fact because âhe didnât want me to think it was more than what it wasâ, turns out heâd been fucking her for the entire 9 year duration of our relationship.
Not saying thatâs what your husband is doing, but purposefully not disclosing any type of relationship with another woman is certainly reason to be suspicious.
If youâre worried about your partner being upset about the interaction and your decision is to hide it, rather than being open and honest with your life partner upfront, wellâŚitâs obvious that something unforgivable is occurring.
Very hot to say if your too much. Maybe depends on how you reacted to him telling you about his son. Did you show empathy and concern? Or did you go off on him for neglecting to call you? He is not a teen. He is not going to change, and doesn't like feeling like he has to answer to anyone or be polite.
The fact that your on the fence with this is crazy
Remember that 80% divorces are initiated by women sorry buddy
You want to share good news with someone who will share your excitement.
Your boyfriend is not that person.
You can accept it and find other people who will squee with you (congrats on the raise! Well done for being financially responsible!) of you can accept it and find someone to share your life with who doesnât think that their opinion is more valuable than yours.
âBeing realisticâ isnât a higher order stance, particularly when heâs wrong and/or pessimistic. There are times for being reserved; âcelebrate with meâ is not one of them.