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I understand your concern with how others perceive you and your relationship. It's important to set the record straight, but it sounds like doing so could cause a bit of tension in your friendship with the common friend. That said, I think it is worth taking a step back and examining why this makes you feel insecure or uncomfortable about their opinion of your relationship. Is there anything that stands out as an underlying issue between you and your GF?
Rather than focusing on trying to convince any third party that one point of view is right or wrong, I suggest talking directly with your partner first-hand. Instead of jumping defensively into an argument over each other's versions, open up communication by sharing what you heard and explain why it made you feel uncomfortable–you don't have to accuse her of intentionally twisting conversations negatively! After hearing both perspectives at face value, discuss together what needs improvement in order for the two of you to move forward building a stronger connection off trust & honesty.
Have an XMas pre party, invite all of her coworkers. Befriend all of them, be nice to them.
You'll see for yourself what they really are. Let them see you too.
Any half decent chap will tone down his flirting (unless ur wife does something).
Since she's returned trying to take care of everything including her has become overwhelming. Every time I try to communicate that I'm overwhelmed she shuts down completely.
Funny how she acuses you of being selfish, inconsiderate and not loving your grandchild when she wants to hand off the grandchild for no compensation (selfish), didn't ask you if you were willing and able (inconsiderate) and seems not to care about your feelings (unloving to you).
Tell her:
'I love you guys but i am ready to be the fun grandparent for a birthday or the holidays but i am done raising and watching children and i need you to accept this. I will not dicuss this further and if you keep pressing i will leave/hang up the phone.'
Where is your husband at in this picture?
Poly is a popular buzzword.
Not sure most of the people claiming to be poly actually know what it means.
I'd suggest you not get involved but if you want to chance it figure out what she means by being poly and take that into account.
She doesn't respect your time and your stress, seems to be “me-me-me-me” all the time AND you'll move to a different province later this year while she seems to be adamant on staying.
What exactly is there to salvage here?
How can you be this naive? Wake up and cut your losses. You’ll be 30 soon and stuck with this Dbag. Respect yourself a little more.
So why is this a problem
Absolutely!! I would be very cautious now that you're broken up with him. He's basically been telling you his own revenge fantasies, and implying that he would feel perfectly justified doing terrible things to an ex, too. Not a safe person to have in your life!