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I don't even know what to say to this ??
what?
Trust your gut. If you feel uncomfortable with her explanation of this event don't brush that aside. Spouses will usually mention their prospective affair partners right up until it becomes a thing. Odd she's mentioned this dude previously and now there is a work event that spouses aren't allowed at. I've been in corporate work for many years and after hour events that exclude spouses are very rare. Usually company only events happen during the work day and after hours events are for meeting spouses.
She's lying to you bro. Stopping her from going won't prevent her cheating tho. Let her do her thing, act chill and find the evidence you need.
First: CONGRATS!! I know a good idea of the time and dedication and heartache that goes into a PhD. You stuck with it. That’s so badass.
Second: what a hard lesson to learn and how shitty it’s your SO that teaches you. Not everyone is going to cheer for you. Do you really want people like that in your corner? Choose people who choose you ♥️