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I'm not passing judgment. It's truly a no judgment zone when it comes to me but I don't understand why I'm being demonized for be honest and direct?
How do I make peace with the fact that something that seems so monumental to me is just so casual for her?
Her having a home is great, and me living rent free is so amazing too. But now I feel like she has control on where I can spend my money since she has the home covered.
I'd say it's all in the framing. Can you make an event out of decorating the new apartment together?
A bit of “together we make the magic of Christmas somewhere new!”
She is 5. Some craft paper and crayon art to decorate your new apartment and a few strings of lights can make magic. If a Christmas tree is too big an expense for the new place, outline it over a bunch of pieces of paper and have her color in each one, tape them to the wall and add a string of lights.
Remember: it only has to be magic to her 5yr old imagination.
It was definitely tailored to me. I.e used my name told me to wish my brother a merry Christmas etc
but some people don't care about that and aren't interested in that? both of these things, the clothing and the showering schedule, are extremely nitpicky. you dont get to dictate how others dress or take care of their bodies, if it's a deal breaker for you then move on, but picking at him and trying to get him to be more like you want him to be isn't going to work. and the clothes in the bed thing is 1000% just your opinion. a lot of people wear PJs or lounge clothes outside of the house, you don't like that and that's fine but plenty of people think it's fine. it's an opinion, you can have yours but you dont get to decide other people should have yours too.
it doesn't seem like that's the part he's upset about though
Hey, hey, don't be so nude on OP.
We are in a presence of a newborn legend. One who managed to get his girlfriend pregnant without having sex with her, just by sheer power of sarcasm. (Look, it's in his comments, magnificent).
We are on an advice sub, be gentle.
He asked how to convince his pregnant girlfriend that she doesn't need marriage. Or, maybe, that she doesn't deserve being married to OP, input unclear.
Any ideas?
I'm out of my sarcasm stash, unfortunately.
Does he floss?
Traditionally, the ring is supposed to be one month of the groom's salary, so I'm not sure where she's getting her information…
Contact your local bar for a referral to an attorney. Many will do a free consult. Could also ask the shelter you stayed at if they have any recommendations, as they're used to dealing with folks who only have the clothes on their back.
What does you volunteering do for the orphans? Stop using orphans as a feel good tactic for your self worth.
You know there are places where parents will rent/pimp out their children to orphanages for this kind of “feel good” tourism? Aside from your problems with your bf, you're not helping anyone or any orphan by doing some white saviour trip.
I'm sure your intentions are good, but please do not do a volunteer trip to a disadvantaged orphanage. Please. These children are not props for your self worth. One day volunteering at an orphanage does NOTHING FOR THE ORPHANS. It's a feel good trip for you. Please reconsider your actual impact on anyone that is not yourself.
Kids don't need Grandparents, especially toxic ones. Your daughter will be just fine without your Mom in her life. Being a Grandparent is a privilege, not a right. She's lost that privilege for good. She's proven she will always chose her toxic abuse off and on ex.
How are you going to ask him to stop hanging out with her when you’re invited? Maybe trying showing interest in your boyfriends hobbies?