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Social media influencers are as real as reality tv stars. She needs therapy if she believes all that is real. Do you know how many influencers photoshop the picture they post. Go to YouTube and look up Charlotte Dobre. She has great videos about influencers lying and photoshopping their photos
What you are doing is called emotional cheating, yes you already did this. Just break up, she deserves better.
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If this doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t. Your concerns are valid! I would feel used also, and that is an icky feeling. Go with your gut!
You’ve made everything worse by caving in to his threats. Imagine spending the next 50-75 years like this. Just so you can “save” him. You can’t save him. You can only save yourself. Self harm threats warrant an immediate 911 call. You must break it off with him again, for good. Give him some brochures and a very hot line to call if he feels empty. Let his family and friends know so they can intervene. He could have been using this time to start to recover, now he will have to go through another break up and start over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming you, you’re obviously a caring person. But this was the wrong thing to do.
Her negativity is exhausting you. It’s okay to back out of this relationship because of it.
I think just him being a good fit for me or as a person I guess? I'm also not sure honestly. It's just worries coming from his past relationship experience