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Some of the biggest things I could say to keep an eye out for would be making sure he's not ever using his age against you. Like, for instance, telling you that because he's older he knows better about a specific thing and you just need to “do what he says” or “fall in line”. And keep in mind that you two do work together so it might be good to go ahead and disclose your relationship to HR just in case he does get the opportunity to be promoted to being your direct manager/higher up so that doesn't happen and create a conflict of interest.
Another thing would be to understand that you're in two wildly different places in your life and will have different interests and experiences. Yes, you're 23 and you have a career, and that's great! But he's been in his career much longer, and most, if not all, of his friends are going to be his age, not yours. Same goes for his family, they're going to most likely be much, much older than you, and that can really change how you communicate. So just make sure he's not excluding you from conversations with friends or anything along those lines because you're “young”.
And also, don't have kids and start a family before you think you are 100% ready to do that. And if he pressures you into doing it when you've said you've wanted to wait, that's a really big red flag.
This should not be ignored or swept under the rug a ps merely his hurt and frustration about the kids. This is abusive behavior. Please, please, please get out before it becomes a pattern and escalates
thank you for always being here bud. iām grateful for your consistency and care
She's upset at you for not setting clear boundaries with your friend. If another woman sends you a photo of her ass, no matter how long you've been friends, you tell her you don't like it and to not do it again. And your wife is upset coz you didn't have the initiative to do this in the first place.
Unless you want to break up with him, this is the only thing that will be a long term fix.
You said she brought up “a past mistake of yours” before you mentioned the blinds. What was that mistake and did y'all discuss it/resolve it?
Op look into Al-Anon meetings not AA.
The sunk cost fallacy is a pathway to being miserabke
What, the parents and the bf? Surely that would just make them more likely to be on the same page.
Iā¦ feel like this is actually the wife posting.
Whichever spouse it is, just fucking talk to each other.
Could you assert dominance over her with a spanking? Or a series of wedgies? Or both?
TLDR: my husband and I broke up and successfully got back together. It's our love story and how we made it work. It's naked and takes a lot of communication, reflection, and forgiveness.
Key points of advice: be very serious in your reflection on yourself and your partner, think very hot about what a happy relationship looks like, take your time to make things right and make sure you're actually ready to get back together.
My husband (boyfriend at the time) broke up with me three and a half years ago and we were separated for about two months. He wanted to get back together after the first week and I said no, because I didn't want to if we were going to get back together for more of the same nonsense.
The first step when considering reuniting is to truly understand why you broke up in the first place. What was the reasoning at the time? What was keeping you two from having a healthy, happy relationship?
What would have to change in order for those reasons to go away? What do you want the relationship to look like when you get back together?
For us, my husband had broken up with me because he wasn't satisfied with himself and thought I was holding him back. Once we broke up, I reflected on the relationship and realized there were a lot of things I didn't like about it. I never really felt he respected or valued me as much as I imagined people should respect and value their partner. He didn't know what he wanted from life and I did, and that made our future uncertain which I felt wasn't fair to me.
When he first asked to get back together and I said no, I laid all of the issues in our relationship on the table, mine and his. I didn't want my next relationship to look like that, and nothing had changed enough to change how our relationship would work and that's what I told him.
After talking about it for a while and getting on the same page about our issues, he asked if I would be willing to reconcile if things did change. I took a few days and thought about what “change” would look like to us. What would it take to convince me that things had changed enough? If we made these changes, how would our future relationship look?
He had been thinking about the same things and really taking to heart the issues I had brought up. We met again and discussed our thoughts. We were both willing to get back together, but I wasn't willing to guarantee it. I wasn't going to put my life on hold for him when these changes we were discussing weren't guaranteed. He agreed that was fair, and was okay with me continuing to see other people.
So we made a game plan. I had some very hot stops that he needed to meet for me to be able to reconcile: he needed to figure out if he wanted kids/marriage, and he needed to reflect further on why we broke up and deconstruct why he felt I was holding him back. I needed to figure out if my life was better with him in it or not.
We went on dates about every week. The first few were mostly serious discussions about life and us. The others were more normal dates. We were rebuilding trust and figuring out a new way to be around each other. We were talking about things we had never talked about before and learning new things about ourselves along the way.
Trust we rebuilt over time and my husband had become much more stable and sure of himself. He told me about how he realized he really hadn't been thinking of me as my own person with thoughts and feelings. We cried together and I knew he had made a fundamental change in how he saw me.
Those last couple dates were better than any we had gone on when we were actually together. We didn't do anything special, but our time together felt special. I felt safe, secure, and loved.
I felt ready to forgive him for breaking up with me because I trusted that things were truly better now, I felt confident that if we got back together our relationship would be completely different.
So the next time he asked to get back together, I said yes.
We've been together for three years now and we'll sometimes reflect on our time apart. He always gets sad when he remembers it, remembering how much he hurt me when he broke up with me and regretting that he hadn't been better in the first place, but I always feel happy looking back. In my mind, our happily ever after truly started when we got back together, and if it hadn't been for our time apart I don't know if we would have grown and changed as much as we did for each other.