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I'd say don't risk telling him ngl. He seems like he'd get dangerous no matter the way he found out and if op tells him preemptively he might find a “nice & loving” way to convince her that having no access to money is a good thing for her. And via that also cut her access off to her family.
Dude, do you really think you can hide untreated mental illness for very long?
Should I leave him.
Maybe. I read your post kind of fast, but it seems that you're making a case for moving on, and that's probably what you should do.
But there's also something bittersweet here, where he's probably a better person now – after knowing you for 6 years. And in some odd way, maybe the experience of knowing him will somehow help you find, and keep, a relationship that will work better for you.
If you break up now, do you think he can be a friend sometime in the future?
She’s an adult who chose to move out of his house. He helps pay her bills. I wouldn’t think to invite her either as the money for her ticket is probably going to her rent. She’s a 25 yo working adult, she accepts responsibility for hiccups like her car when she moves out. We all do. If you want to be independent you have to take all that comes with it. Your parents can’t always bail you out and it seems unfair that his oldest is guilting him for, contrary to what is consistently seen on Reddit, having his priorities aligned.
Why you don’t date crazy yes the sex is good but your mental health will suffer. You may wake up to a knife at your throat happened to a friend of mine. His words and I quote she’s batshit crazy but god damn is the sex good and she is great in her good days end quote. He married her ass was married 2 years he woke up one day to her holding a knife to his throat and did cut him some not deep enough for stitches but enough to wake him up. He divorced her paid 6 months rent left on their lease and said cya. She got 75k from the divorce and that was it.
I think you should let him tell you when he's ready, Op.
I know you are worried, curious, or anxious about it but I would just wait for him.
You seem intent upon setting yourself on fire to keep her warm. That’s not a long term solution. Read ‘No More Mr Nice Guy’. You need to learn to advocate and validate your own feelings and emotions else you will cause yourself much longer term pain.
Don't allow yourself to hang on a string indefinitely. Bite the bullet and initiate the breakup on your own. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Good luck.
totally agreed. what a prick!
“Despite”
Nah I’m pretty sure that’s why she’s dating someone 20 years younger.
I’m a bigger dude, not much older than your guy, it’s been a struggle to lose weight. Luckily, my partner is into my size (also a tall stocky dude) and my weight and is supportive by being encouraging but not trying to force my hand.
I’m in therapy, and basically I get on a good track, lose 60 pounds and eat and work out well, and then I’ll self-sabotage and binge eat. I don’t know why I do it, I’m trying to figure it out. Part of the problem is I don’t mind my weight and like my size, and replacing my size with muscle is just…a lot.
If it was me in your partners position, I’d break up with you. You’re not into my weight, you’re dragging me, and you use some language and go some places I find troubling. Personally, I need to be with someone who would find me naked skinny, bulky, huge, whatever (and I have). I don’t think I’m on a one-way trip to being a vegetable or the morgue, just because my risks are higher. You’re upset and going to some absolute worst case scenarios.
Anyway, he will have to figure this out on his own. You need to stop upsetting yourself into a spiral of misery. Go be happy elsewhere.
Even his daughter is named after him. Yep.