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I would add to #3. He agrees that if he is confirmed as the father, he will cut off the toxic friend group.
Having kids should be a “two emphatic 'yes' votes” situation. No coercion, no manipulation, no convincing. Both partners should be ready to take this step. You aren't and honestly, you can have whatever reasons you want to have for not being ready. Some are admittedly easier for partners to process than others, but that doesn't and shouldn't change anything.
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That said, if his desire to have kids now is important enough to him, he is fully within his rights to end a relationship with a partner who isn't ready and isn't able to give him a timeline or a set of parameters for when they will be ready. Sometimes people's goals just don't match up, and it's better to recognize that and walk away than it is to stay and manipulate them into doing what you want, or stay and resent them if/when you can't have what you want for yourself.
It wasn’t the argument that caused the issue, it was the need for a break. that removed feelings of stability and led to fear, understandably so in my opinion.
In his shoes, I’d be saying something similar, it’s a big commitment to move into someone else’s home and, regardless of the intentions earlier on, that’s what this is. For me, needing a ‘break’ doesn’t indicate being in a good position for starting living together, you say that things would have looked differently if you had been, but why didn’t they look like that anyway?
Op is scum
When you propose be sure to bring three rings mom and dad need one too!