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I know this is over a week old. However, I just wanted to say thank you for being concise, telling her exactly what she needed to be told.
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My daughter's father sabotaged our birth control. I became pregnant. My heart was broken because I was trying to get away from him. He was not healthy minded. So he trapped me. Back then we were heavily pressured to marry. I left when my daughter was one but she suffered greatly because of who her dad was. A twisted, bitter, liar and evil abuser. My daughter died at 18. He still did everything he possibly could to get at me even after she died.
OP, don't tie yourself to a man who would stoop to blaming you and speaking the way he did. Please look at the patterns he has. http://Www.thehotline.org can help. It's a known form of abuse to dictate anything reproductively. Your future child will suffer their whole life if you choose this man to be a father. I know that when you're in it, it's naked to see. Hot to know if you deserve better. So think of what will happen with children if it helps any. He's abusing you, he will abuse your child(ren).
How can you tell us this and believe that he almost worships the ground you walk on? Something I learn with time is that acts speak more about than words. Really don't let move in, don't even tell him your new address.
Thats insane. If it was a low ROI degree, why was the expensive University even chosen? I can't get my head around it?‍? Poor girl man
She’s being immature. It’s your past time. She doesn’t have a right to ruin it for you. That’s like you smacking a book out of her hand while she reads and saying “I hate girls who care about their books”.
She just wants attention.
You'd obviously benefit from therapy (as would this Dutch guy). Not just to help you cope with your daily stresses but so that you can prioritize your life better and not pin so many hopes on a four month old online association. LDRs are hot for people who don't have the issues you have and they can be nearly impossible for “overthinkers”. So find a good therapist and rely more on that person as the repository of your emotional needs. Having penpals is great and on rare occasion the involved parties are actually able to meet in person at some point. Rarer still is that those meetups result in real relationships. This would be especially true when the penpal you're dealing with is a hot mess himself. Focus on getting through school and pressuring your career. Worry less about this you who's clearly got his own problems.
Either you need to break up officially and work on yourselves, then maybe you can come back together later on.
OR
You both need to realize what you want to prioritize, because if it’s each other then something about his career might need to be tweaked or visits need to be planned more often when he leaves. As a partnership, you have to compromise, work things out and agree what is not working. If you truly love each other and don’t want it to end I’d choose this option.
“Breaks” are more for younger inexperienced couples; they never work out and it’s just the same concept as having space while being together, technically. It’s not logical and puts a halt on fixing the problem.