You're sexually incompatible and he's not considerate of your needs. He's also not willing to work through it or change. It's a battle you can't win. You're young enough to get someone else that can do it right rather than go through this emotionally toxic relationship long term. Break up.
Nah dude. Reading your post made my blood boil. Your wife abuses you (financially)… and berating you instead of supporting you. Fuck that.
You don't want kids with a wife like that. She will divorce you , go for maintenance money … and just leech of you. I can promise you that… she has ZERO respect for you.
I have tried to talk to her about this in a friendly way so many times, and whenever I bring it up she just makes up excuses (work, lack of time..) and confirms that she would really love to spend more time together and that I am her only true friend… Etc.
One funny thing that recently happened: she left the city for the weekend, and she was constantly calling me on the phone telling me that she misses me. (We literally don't meet each other for like 2 weeks straight or more while we live! in the same small city, but when she's away for the weekend she suddenly misses me)
I think you're right, I have to close the door emotionally, and I have already started doing that. Now I don't feel as close to her as I used to.
If you want to engage kinky sex, you need to be able to talk about it, because kinky sex is inherently engaging in great risks and being able to set up boundaries, limits and interests is vital to a healthy kinky sex life. There is no one size fits all way to do it, but I would HIGHLY recommend having the conversation outside of a sexual encounter. Trying to establish boundaries or have a back and forth about what someone is or isn't comfortable with in the middle of fucking is naked (and harder still to ask questions about something). Make the conversation one that is low pressure and outside of that environment.
And I also want to add, choking is a WAY riskier kink than most people realize. Choking can cause serious complications such as spontaneous unconsciousness. Highly recommend reading up on ways to do choking safely as a kink, especially depending on whether the goal is force or suffocation.
Dump him. He's a parasite. And a grumpy one at that.
You're sexually incompatible and he's not considerate of your needs. He's also not willing to work through it or change. It's a battle you can't win. You're young enough to get someone else that can do it right rather than go through this emotionally toxic relationship long term. Break up.
Nah dude. Reading your post made my blood boil. Your wife abuses you (financially)… and berating you instead of supporting you. Fuck that.
You don't want kids with a wife like that. She will divorce you , go for maintenance money … and just leech of you. I can promise you that… she has ZERO respect for you.
Divorce her. Get a better life.
Maybe she should just get her own apartment like other adults and you two keep dating. Dude you should listen to me
I figured, but not very reassuring. Especially since expensive homes often have expensive maintenance.
I have tried to talk to her about this in a friendly way so many times, and whenever I bring it up she just makes up excuses (work, lack of time..) and confirms that she would really love to spend more time together and that I am her only true friend… Etc.
One funny thing that recently happened: she left the city for the weekend, and she was constantly calling me on the phone telling me that she misses me. (We literally don't meet each other for like 2 weeks straight or more while we live! in the same small city, but when she's away for the weekend she suddenly misses me)
I think you're right, I have to close the door emotionally, and I have already started doing that. Now I don't feel as close to her as I used to.
Why do you say she lacks a solid identity?
If you want to engage kinky sex, you need to be able to talk about it, because kinky sex is inherently engaging in great risks and being able to set up boundaries, limits and interests is vital to a healthy kinky sex life. There is no one size fits all way to do it, but I would HIGHLY recommend having the conversation outside of a sexual encounter. Trying to establish boundaries or have a back and forth about what someone is or isn't comfortable with in the middle of fucking is naked (and harder still to ask questions about something). Make the conversation one that is low pressure and outside of that environment.
And I also want to add, choking is a WAY riskier kink than most people realize. Choking can cause serious complications such as spontaneous unconsciousness. Highly recommend reading up on ways to do choking safely as a kink, especially depending on whether the goal is force or suffocation.