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1. Truthfully, it will be better if she isn't at the wedding. If she makes up drama now, what would she do at the wedding?

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2. Maybe they are not sure how to accommodate your disabilities now? Have you told them the things you can and cannot do or are you still able to do the things you used to do? I would just organize something where they all come over and you can explain things you can still do with them and how you still enjoy spending time with them

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3. You should press charges and report him to your university. He violated you in a major way. The internet is forever. You actually are under reacting. It is a big deal what he did and he should be ok for it.

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4. If any woman makes me uncomfortable he will have no problem blocking the girl and I know that. And once I told him I didn’t want to hear any of the previous girls he was even the slightest bit involved with, he stopped talking about them. But I already know about them all so they’re just engrained into my head and I can’t help but have these “what if?” spirals.

   Here’s one of the main problems I think, there was this girl my boyfriend was talking to. He said he had no interest in her at all. She slid up on one of his Snapchat stories, it was a picture of my boyfriend and I, she said “You look cute together” (Or something like that, but she acknowledged my existence and that I was his girlfriend). But one day my boyfriend went out to get gas and she texted him an “I love you” and then my boyfriend responded with something about the weather. He said that he just tried to move past it and not acknowledge it. But before and and I think after that, he was sending her photos of just himself to her, cute pictures he doesn’t even send me. He sends picture of him smiling, in maybe two of them I was laying right on him and he didn’t get me in there or anything. He sent like “cutsie” pictures of himself to her, he doesn’t know I know what the pictures look like because I invaded his privacy and went on his phone to look at the previous pictures between my boyfriend and this girl. I just hate how he didn’t drop it right away, he just continued talking to this girl and sent cute selfies of himself to her. And I scroll down to find her sending him nudes BEFORE we got together (we were not in a relationship). I didn’t tell him I scrolled through the images of her and him but I told him a little after the “I love you” text she had sent him that that made me really uncomfortable and how i didn’t like it at all and he blocked her instantly. And then I explained that he can’t be having conversations with girls who are hitting on him, and how that applies to me too. It’s his first relationship and remember making the “oh I told this person that I’m in a relationship so they won’t hit on me or try to be more than friends mistake.” I don’t respond to anyone who dms me, or anyone who try’s flirting. And I wish he did the same thing in that situation. I think what makes me insecure is that he works from home and he attends school live so he doesn’t really see that many women. So there’s no many chances of him texting or talking to any women. I would like to know how he would handle the situation. I think it’s the idea of a girl flirting with him, I know he’d bring me up. But what if the girl doesn’t care, or he continues to talk to her as a “friend.” I wish I had the mindset: “Flirt with him, if he cheats he’s not the one for me anyways.” But what if he cheats and doesn’t tell me and gets away with it. Or he talks to this girl a little too friendly or she’s talking a little too friendly but he’s not stopping it. That’s the thing that makes me overthink a lot.

   But like idk the photos he sent her really made me jealous, you can tell he moved the camera so I wouldn’t be in the camera shot. And that he tried a little nude to appear cute. I just idk anymore I just feel like I’ll always feel insecure and not fully trust my boyfriend until I see the way he handled another girl like her. I just feel like I know too much about his previous relationships.

   And the same girls (the picture of the girl I found when I was deleting my nudes from his trash can). She stalked me on Instagram, I asked my boyfriend if he knew who she was because I noticed he followed her. And he said “that’s the girl who ghosted me.” She stalked me for months, I didn’t know who she was I assumed it was a friend of a friend. Before my boyfriend and I became a couple we were friends, he kept this little heart stuffed animal that said “be my valentine” on it ANDD he kept it maybe a month or so into our relationship, just out on his bed. I didn’t really mind it then, I told him we’ll burn it. But now I think “was he really over her?” And after ghosting him he still follows her. Buttt she messages him sometimes and so does he (not a lot, like rarely). I asked my boyfriend why he still followed her after she ghosted him and he said something along the lines of “that’s just how things ended/ or that’s just how it was left.” I told him it makes me uncomfortable that he continues to follow and talk to her (rarely) still, and he unfollowed her. And somehow that isn’t enough for me, I want him to block her, because she still follows him. But i don’t want to have to tell him to blocker her, i don’t wanna have to tell him what to do. I know he still follows her on Spotify too, and I know he knows he still follows her on there, and it hurts me a little a bit.

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5. We usually have more rational arguments, but this hit a nerve for him because it triggered some past issues. I'm not sure how to approach.

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6. Every day I do stupid things, like leaving out a jar of jam from breakfast, or not making sure a door is closed all the way, or all the light are off before I leave the house. This causes a huge blowup from my husband. Whenever there is a trend if multiple times I do stuff like this, he says he just doesn't know why he is with me. That I have no value to this relationship if he can't rely on me for even the simplest things, and I agree. I am unreliable. I try really hot to do better but I just keep failing him at every turn.

   None of these things are stupid or failures, you're human. No one is that perfect 100% of the time. Its incredibly concerning that your husband would blow up over things like this and question why he's with you. It has absolutely nothing to do with being 'reliable' or not. You are absolutely not stupid.

   What other things does your husband blow up about you over to make you feel stupid? He's emotionally abusive towards you and he's probably going to get worse rather than better.

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