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This is what is known as a “Red Flag”.
It only gets worse from here.
Don't put yourself through it.
It’s emotional blackmail run he will fucking kill you
Well, her request destroyed the trust he had in her. That, coupled with her withdrawn behaviour prior, of course, made OP assume the worst. Sometimes, people aren't going to hear you out or be fair, and that's okay.
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My boyfriend had a motorcycle race last week and I went with him. He has an eleven month old daughter and her mother isn’t around anymore. I was holding her while watching the race, and pointed and told her where he was. She started calling me “mama.” I know she can say a few words and calls him “daddy.” I thought it was very cute but I didn’t know what to do. I told my boyfriend later and he was very embarrassed.
We spent Christmas together and his daughter kept calling me mama. Every time he tried to correct her she would just giggle. Later that night I heard him giving her a bath. She asked “where mama” and he said in his room, which is where I was. I thought it was odd he went from correcting her in front of me to referring to me as mama when I wasn’t around.
I don’t want to accuse him of telling her to say that, but I want to ask him about it without being confrontational. I’m just afraid it’s nude to bring up without sounding like I’m making an accusation.
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The problem isn’t the bragging about the behavior – it’s the BEHAVIOR. THIS IS ASSAULT. Please leave him immediately.
As you said, both Gonorrhea and Chlamydia can take many months before showing symptoms. But some people also develop symptoms within a week.
It would be a bit surprising for you to contract one of these STIs in your throat and develop symptoms in 3 days.
It's possible you contracted it before your relationship with your recent ex and didn't know it. It's possible your recent ex contracted it before his relationship with you. It's possible he cheated on you and contracted it during your relationship.
It is not possible to correlate both the throat/head symptoms and genital symptoms. Is it possible they are both the same STI? Sure. Is it likely? No one can say.
The only possible way to unwind is to have a conversation with your ex (and/or previous ex(s)), and have everyone get tested to verify.
But that's a lot to go through for a moot point. The only thing that can come of figuring out how the thing ultimately got to you is hurt feelings or maybe even guilt.
The responsible thing to do is to inform your ex that you tested positive for this regardless of whether you decide to ask about infidelity, because he may be infected and contagious and not know it.
You are lucky in that both of these are curable. You can take your antibiotics for a couple months and put all of this behind you. Try not to dwell.
I think a lot of the lifting part comes down to the timeline. The cheater considers cheating, seeks out an opportunity, chooses to cheat at every step, considers how to hide it, processes what cheating means to them, and probably repeats the process multiple times.
They may turn their ethics into a pretzel, but they get to process things (unless caught in the first act, but even then, there usually was a time between consideration and actual deed).
The person cheated on is living their life as normal. Sometimes there are indications, often there are not, or they only make sense with hindsight. And then, BOOM. Their world collapses, but frequently they do NOT get time to process, because they get pressure to forgive, or practicalities of leaving or face a sudden change of circumstances that needs to be dealt with.
Vasectomies are a small, local anesthesia procedure. You'll be out in an hour or two, only some mild discomfort for a week or less.
Hystorectomy is way more invasive.
So yeah, if she wants you to have that as a sign of your commitment, then why not?
Do you want more kids or do you want to not scare of someone new?
Make up your mind first.
OP only refers to her partner by he/him pronouns. Degendering binary trans people is misgendering. There are no “they”s involved in this.
To play devil’s advocate, it’s possible she wasn’t totally sure the first time. She thought she saw a kiss, swerved it, then had some self doubt. Women can often struggle to stand up and put hot boundaries in place, especially if they are unsure of what is happening.
OP, you could give her the benefit of the doubt, as she did avoid the kisses.
Personally, I would dance with another guy – but not grind on him or anything like that – with my partner around. I don’t see a problem with that.
I would exit after the attempted kisses though.
So many many red flags. The biggest, is that he is prepared to blackmail an ex. I hope you haven't sent him nudes that he could one day want to blackmail you with.
He wasn't looking to prepare for blackmail. He was likely jerking it to them.