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Five years? I'm a widow and this is WAY too attached for five years out from your father passing.
I hate to say this, but you have made this happen by saying yes to everything. Apparently, the word “NO” hasn't been a part of your vocabulary with your Mom to date. So, yes, she is being clingy, but you have been enabling this behavior.
How is your husband taking all this? I'm betting he's not happy at all and feels like he married you and your mother. Be careful, OP. This may be damaging your marriage.
The solution is obvious, but is going to take some real strength of character on your part. Sit your Mom down and just be honest with her. Tell her that you love her, but you are a married woman with your own life and simply cannot include her at all times.
Start saying no. Yes, we're going out to dinner, but this is a romantic evening for two, not three. Start setting boundaries about her calling and your response time and STICK TO IT.
Make honeymoon trip plans and just tell her that honeymoons are for two, not two plus Mom. Encourage her to understand how truly weird it is that she even expects to come.
You need to stop complaining and TAKE ACTION!
Unless they are identical twins, the paternity test should be conclusive.
The truth is that some ‘friends’ are always going to reserve a bit (or a lot) of judgment about your life, whether they vocalise it or not.
This is why it’s important to be very discerning with what you share, and the person you share it with.
I used to spill indiscriminately about my dating life to my girlfriends, until one day a couple of them accidentally revealed that they thought I was easy.
Of course, it hurt. But we as human beings are constantly evolving, and we act according to our circumstances. Whatever you did with your life was your own decision. You’re the steward of your life and steer the ship.
You don’t let other people like your friend steer the ship because they don’t know where you went or where you are heading.
It sounds like this has been an issue since the beginning. It also sounds like the little moments of frustration have been stacking and stacking, until it finally bubbles over, possibly because you are internalizing them.
Sit down and have a frank, but calm conversation. DON'T “confront” him, that just becomes adversarial and unproductive. “I” statements and just say your peice. It may be uncomfortable, it can be, but it sounds to me like it is long overdue and the only thing changing is that is out in the open being discussed.
Dude, no. Leave her alone.
What goodness does she add to your life? What are the benefits of being with her? If they don't heavily outweigh her negative attributes, I suggest you dump her. ?
Ig so? But i mean he technically wanted to ask me out irl bc he felt on-line wasn’t good enough too. So we technically been dating for two weeks now
I want to know if I should keep ignoring him, block him or tell him that what he did was wrong?
Hmm, I can't imagine him doing this without telling me, but it could be.
Id be honest. Its still early in your relationship. Don't waste time on something or someone when your hearts not 100% in it.
I’m a woman, but I so relate to this! I’m that person that’s friendly and gets along with most everyone on a surface level. People say they adore me…but I don’t actually get invited to anything. For me at least, I think maybe it’s possible I might be SLIGHTLY on the spectrum. Like people like me, but I just don’t quite know how to connect the final dot to bridge a true friendship. Does this feel familiar?
You don’t miss her, you miss her domestic labor. She needs to dump YOU
I basically taught them that blood doesn’t matter and it’s who looks after you that counts.
While the other user is extremely optimistic, keep in mind, for some kids, it's still essential to learn where they come from. Your ex clearly is a shitty person, but you don't know what sort of impressions your kids will have of him when they actually meet and interact with him and his family.
Ideally, nothing between your kids, you and your husband will change….but it could.
Here's a way to make it obvious:
Have a white husband.
Cheat on him with someone black.
Then say “oh but he's black, it's totally different!”
Cheating is cheating.
Says someone who has no children