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How old are you?
Op, you have strong codependent habits. Look it up, also see r/codependency
Unless he's putting down a mattress cover or towels over his sheets every time they have sex, then removing it after, they are sleeping in bodily fluids.
If he loves BMX more than he cares about you, you don't really have a relationship, do you?
I’ve had both good and bad therapists. imo therapy is like a good pair of jeans, sometimes you have to shop around and try on a few before you find one that fits you.
You could try to find out what type of porn he’s viewing to get an answer for his disassociation with intimacy involving you. Then you may decide to move on to another relationship. Sorry this is a second time you have had this issue infect a relationship.
It is helpful. Hopefully it will make you see that what you’re experiencing with him isn’t normal or loving.
You need to value yourself more. His behaviour isn’t your fault, he’s obviously not a good person. Your choice to put up with it is your own. After only five months he’s behaving like this. I guarantee you it will only get worse and worse.
Cut your losses and run.
As another commenter mentioned: your feelings are valid. The fact that she hid this from you robbed you of making an informed choice and feels like a deception or betrayal. The fact that she is now refusing to talk to you about it is an equally huge problem (assuming you are being calm and not lashing out at her about her past choices). She should have told you earlier instead if hiding it and should be willing to talk to you about it now to help you work through your feelings.
I personally wouldn’t have an issue with my partner having done porn in the past, and the acts she did then but won’t do now with you are likely either because she experimented and didn’t like it, or no longer likes it, and/or was willing to do it for money but not pleasure. But for some that is a boundary or deal breaker and that’s ok. Everyone’s allowed to have their preferences.
But anyone should have a problem with the fact that she hid it from you on purpose and now is refusing to talk to you about it. Relationships are built on trust and communication and she’s failing you on both fronts.
Best of luck to you in navigating this.
So let me get this straight – she is still married, lives in an apartment paid for by her husband, an apartment that her husband still regularly visits.
Are you sure she's even getting divorced?
This sounds more like she's asking you to be her sugardaddy and pay for an extra apartment so she can have something in her name in case her husband discovers she's cheating on him.
Yeah, just say you like the video, and keep it light and friendly. Think of something fun to invite her to next time, and invite her when the timing is right.
This makes me question how unwanted his attention actually is. I can’t imagine just letting a coworker treat me this way and then choose to go out with drinks with him.
And her husband can't come because it would be awkward due to this other guys behavior? Seriously /u/Greg_8888? You're accepting this excuse? She's choosing this other guy over you.
Hire a PI to watch her at one of these outings. /u/MichyPratt is right, she's not as upset at his attention as she wants you to think.