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Are you a strong person with firm boundaries? Are you a doormat? Do you date men that “just need to grow up”? Do you date players? Do you date mamas boys that just want to be taken care of? Is there a pattern? Break it.
Yeah I know I'm waiting my time and most importantly, I'm wasting hers. It's just I don't know when and how should I do it coz I do think she's likely become badly depressed. I know I'm to blame tho I brought this upon myself. Thx for the response btw
It sounds like your anxiety is ruining a good relationship. Forget anytime timelines. They don’t exist. Especially if you aren’t planning on having kids. And if you are , technically you have about ten years. There, that’s your new timeline. More importantly, marriage subject aside – do you feel loved and cared about? Is there passion? Is there a fair financial living arrangement? Do you have long term financial goals/plans : talking about individual retirements, paying off individual loans if any and saving for a possible joint future expenditures such as vacations, purchases for the household, etc ? Are you compatible as people ? What’s your view on chores and household duties? Does his family treat you well and vice versa? After living together have you noticed each other’s pet peeves you find very annoying? Do you guys actually enjoy spending time with each other? How do the two of you handle fights? All of the above are more important than getting someone to agree to marry you. You sound like you are wanting to get married almost as a status symbol, that you are good enough for someone to want you. It feels embarrassing to you in front of your family (and yourself) that your loved one hasn’t chosen you as “the one” yet. You are seeking self-assurance and validation in a place that you shouldn’t be seeking – marriage. Maybe you’ll find solace that if you separate from your partner and start dating someone in a quick engagement cultural tradition, you’ll be married very soon. Marriage for the sake of a checkmark. But as it seems, your current partner looks at marriage differently and very cautiously. Don’t feel like you need “to wait” for him to make a decision, just enjoy the every day with him. Then, his decision will come quicker because he won’t feel the pressure.
i def understand where u are coming from. but if they are in a serious relationship, op did the right thing by voicing her concerns. is she supposed to just sit there uncomfortable. if a girl that did not respect your relationship was going on a three week trip with your boyfriend and others, i would be concerned. its not childish, its proper communication. forcing someone to not go is extreme: i do agree with that. however, i disagree with u on calling op childish. her feelings are normal and valid.
Thank you, I haven’t used that dignity in the relationship. I don’t know if I can start now or how to. Thank you for your words.
My advice as a bisexual woman: fuck that guy. He's clearly queerphobic. Why would you want to be with someone like that? He's not the only man in the world. And he sounds like a fucking douchebag.
she did not cheat, but you guys need a talk
My 4 year old is horrible to deal with on this, I will talk to his teachers when his school resumes. He is very messy.
Trash can is there, but they would throw it here and there.
Yeah – what you mentioned is what I want to do with my wife in terms of cleaning. I am not looking for super clean space but I cannot online in a stinking place and I assume it needs to be mutually shared and realized.
We can get a maid but our problem is lack of discipline and sticking to a schedule. Next would be outsourcing laundry?
With one source of income, I don't want to go in that route
He is not pissed. You seemed the one who is “pressed” with that terrible analogy. You have two very different scenarios… you can’t compare a name to someone who is lying about them being trans. My word some people are so dense lmao.
Stop doing his laundry. Stop cooking for him. Stop cleaning for him.
Do your laundry, make yourself a sandwich, don't clean after him and only clean after yourself. See how far the mess and dirt goes and how long until he has no clean clothes.
Do both. Half and half. If that’s what you want. Do what you want.
Has she shown any other odd behaviors, like not enjoying her hobbies anymore or maybe having trouble bonding with the baby?
Either way, you can tell her she’s beautiful through your words and actions, you gotta be more in-depth than just “you’re not fat.” Try supporting active positive statements than just disagreeing with negative statements.
What strategies have you tried so far?
That's a horrible thing to say, and you should be ashamed of yourself.