So he’s already lost multiple jobs for bad attendance?
Do you really think at this stage he is going to suddenly have an epiphany and change if you have a talk with him?
He won’t. He’s lazy. He doesn’t have any work ethic and he doesn’t care that he’s never going to rise above his current economic situation. He doesn’t care if he doesn’t work. He doesn’t care about you enough to pull together and make a good life with you.
Please don’t get pregnant or you’ll be bringing a child into poverty and ill health.
Bud, why have / are you abusing yourself like this? You want to accept it? Then move on and live the rest of your life. Start a new chapter in your life. It was a good run but over.
She really fucked up. Telling you this was a huge mistake and you are understandably upset. That said, this doesn’t undo the history you have built over the last 7 years. It might feel like it was all built on a lie, but it wasn’t. You didn’t know until now where she was, mentally, at the outset. That’s a new piece of information. But that doesn’t mean that who she has been the past 7 years is any less true.
Does she love you, now? Does she feel like she settled? If she can convince you, and that’s her task now that she opened this can of worms, that you are the man for her now and henceforth, then I suggest you forget this ever happened and try and go on with your life with the confidence that the love of a good partner gives you.
I let it go on for a couple months and I was miserable. I had a very hot time sleeping, felt like there was a pit in my stomach, I couldn't eat, I was vomiting from the stress of it all. I didn't trust him or a single thing he said, any time he looked at his phone or laptop I wondered what he was doing. He worked with her as well, so the whole time he was at work I was a nervous wreck.
It just wasn't worth it and like I said, the realization that he deleted them was evidence enough that he knew what he was doing was wrong and it would hurt me, but he chose to do it anyway. What did that say about the importance of me to him?
If he has nothing to hide, then allowing his own wife to see it and to feel more secure is worth any weird feeling you get from having someone else read your messages. I know I don't like people reading my messages because it just feels awkward, but if that would put my husbands mind at ease, then im going to do it.
He's exhibiting textbook behaviors of someone up to something they shouldn't be up to.
Hun. Do not feel guilty. Do not back down. Act surprised if anyone doesn’t just assume that your Dad is walking you down the isle. I think you should just casually mention it to your dad about plans. Like, just ask if he has a preference for the daddy daughter dance.
And if your bio dad asks, or anyone else, just act super surprised that anyone would think that he would have that honor.
Hurt people hurt people, and what’s worst is he is aware that needs help and instead of getting uses OP as a punching bag.
There’s a chance that with therapy and medication he’s not a nightmare, but I feel like those chances are low and regardless OP doesn’t need to there for it.
OP shouldn’t work harder at helping him then he does for himself.
it feels like thay joke wasn't an issue, it's all the other stuff! like let's share a boyfriend cus yours is so great and I can't find one har har har! no big deal lol but the rest of the stuff seems to be the bigger issue. That comment/joke probably would've just slid boy if you already didn't carry this negativity from all the fights, comments, nonsense from her.
idk, I'll probably get down voted for this but I think you need some sort of professional help because it's not healthy to be that dependent on someone to the point where you can't eat or sleep for days..
Based on your description of his life, this shouldn’t be too surprising right? I also can’t imagine what battling something like cancer can do to even the most positive thinkers.
If he says he is interested in dating other people, then why in the world are you still in this relationship? I can only imagine what that does to your self-esteem and feeling of security.
Say what though?
You are right it's not only for him but definitely for her own welfare.
So he’s already lost multiple jobs for bad attendance?
Do you really think at this stage he is going to suddenly have an epiphany and change if you have a talk with him?
He won’t. He’s lazy. He doesn’t have any work ethic and he doesn’t care that he’s never going to rise above his current economic situation. He doesn’t care if he doesn’t work. He doesn’t care about you enough to pull together and make a good life with you.
Please don’t get pregnant or you’ll be bringing a child into poverty and ill health.
His reaction to your question is the most suspicious thing out of the story. That he effectively managed not to answer your question is second.
I doubt something has happened yet between them, but he is certainly tempted.
But, she isn’t helping your MIL by making sure your kids are up and get to school, she is helping you and your husband.
My take on the situation is that she’s blameless in this, but your husband is at least considering attempting an affair.
lmao?yeah you are right I guess
Bud, why have / are you abusing yourself like this? You want to accept it? Then move on and live the rest of your life. Start a new chapter in your life. It was a good run but over.
She really fucked up. Telling you this was a huge mistake and you are understandably upset. That said, this doesn’t undo the history you have built over the last 7 years. It might feel like it was all built on a lie, but it wasn’t. You didn’t know until now where she was, mentally, at the outset. That’s a new piece of information. But that doesn’t mean that who she has been the past 7 years is any less true.
Does she love you, now? Does she feel like she settled? If she can convince you, and that’s her task now that she opened this can of worms, that you are the man for her now and henceforth, then I suggest you forget this ever happened and try and go on with your life with the confidence that the love of a good partner gives you.
I don't blame you.
I let it go on for a couple months and I was miserable. I had a very hot time sleeping, felt like there was a pit in my stomach, I couldn't eat, I was vomiting from the stress of it all. I didn't trust him or a single thing he said, any time he looked at his phone or laptop I wondered what he was doing. He worked with her as well, so the whole time he was at work I was a nervous wreck.
It just wasn't worth it and like I said, the realization that he deleted them was evidence enough that he knew what he was doing was wrong and it would hurt me, but he chose to do it anyway. What did that say about the importance of me to him?
If he has nothing to hide, then allowing his own wife to see it and to feel more secure is worth any weird feeling you get from having someone else read your messages. I know I don't like people reading my messages because it just feels awkward, but if that would put my husbands mind at ease, then im going to do it.
He's exhibiting textbook behaviors of someone up to something they shouldn't be up to.
Hun. Do not feel guilty. Do not back down. Act surprised if anyone doesn’t just assume that your Dad is walking you down the isle. I think you should just casually mention it to your dad about plans. Like, just ask if he has a preference for the daddy daughter dance.
And if your bio dad asks, or anyone else, just act super surprised that anyone would think that he would have that honor.
GET A LAWYER!!! Just listen to the obvious advice.
Hurt people hurt people, and what’s worst is he is aware that needs help and instead of getting uses OP as a punching bag.
There’s a chance that with therapy and medication he’s not a nightmare, but I feel like those chances are low and regardless OP doesn’t need to there for it.
OP shouldn’t work harder at helping him then he does for himself.
OP be selfish, choose yourself and leave.
it feels like thay joke wasn't an issue, it's all the other stuff! like let's share a boyfriend cus yours is so great and I can't find one har har har! no big deal lol but the rest of the stuff seems to be the bigger issue. That comment/joke probably would've just slid boy if you already didn't carry this negativity from all the fights, comments, nonsense from her.
idk, I'll probably get down voted for this but I think you need some sort of professional help because it's not healthy to be that dependent on someone to the point where you can't eat or sleep for days..
Based on your description of his life, this shouldn’t be too surprising right? I also can’t imagine what battling something like cancer can do to even the most positive thinkers.
If he says he is interested in dating other people, then why in the world are you still in this relationship? I can only imagine what that does to your self-esteem and feeling of security.
Seriously, it's time.