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Oh honey…this answer should tell you everything you need to know. It's time…
It'll be difficult at first, but you'll be so much better off as a single mom. You'll be happier, less stressed, LESS MANIPULATED and learn how to love yourself.
I really hope you give this some serious thought..for both you AND your daughter's sakes.
Every parent who beats their child to death, started out applying “discipline”.
You don't hit people who are bigger than you, why should you hit people who are smaller? because you can get away with it?
I mean, the parent in the OP was teaching his daughter not to be violent… by being violent. How can that lesson be effective? All the daughter learned was that she mustn't bite OP, she hasn't learned that violence is wrong.
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What makes you ask this?
Not the same at all. She clearly set out to kill that man. I did not.
But what I'm saying is, how long was she with him before she felt comfortable committing to a relationship even? How long she's been apart from him doesn't really matter, but if she has a history of moving faster with men than she is with you, then whatever that disability is probably isn't the issue.
Is she completely comfortable with the age gap?
Wrong. But she can't view his actions as cheating and her actions as not
Hi OP, here is some practical advice on the next steps you need to take ASAP.
First, you need to save any scrap of evidence, no matter how small, in multiple locations. For example, save those videos on your phone, on your computer, on the cloud, etc.
Second, and this one I’ll get downvoted for but is EXTREMELY important, tell ALL your mutal friends and family what happened. Don’t be vague at all about this either – “I was sent video evidence of her cheating on me with three other guys at her bachelorette”.
The reasoning is this: if she is brazen enough to cheat publically with multiple guys, lie to you repeatedly and trickle truth (“it’s not what it looks like!” – bull-fucking-shit), then she will undoubtedly lie to others to save her reputation. It may sound weird, but people tend to believe the side they hear first, so you need to get that first-mover advantage NOW.
Third, get STD tested, this is very unlikely the first time she has cheated on you, it’s just the first time she’s been caught.
Fourth, consider contacting the friend who sent you the videos, she may have more evidence that could prove useful – at the very least thank her for being a standup person.
Finally, take care of yourself. Getting wasted is a natural reaction to the trauma you’ve just been put through – but it will do you zero good to continue drowning your sorrows. For example, if you spend the following days, weeks or months drinking and drinking and drinking, she can say “well I may have cheated but OP is an alcoholic abusive asshole, and I just didn’t know a better way to get away from him”. Don’t give her ammunition to use against you, because at this point you must assume she will desperately twist anything and everything you do to make you the greater villain.
It is possible this is an open relationship situation, which if you are not up for no need to worry further. Just pass and move on. If you wish to, send her a link to his Tinder profile before you block and move on, but that is up to you. Might want to do it from a different account though, because why would you want to experience any backlash, if there is any? If it is consensual, which it might be, we don't know for certain, no harm will be done. If it isn't though, yeah you don't want to be in the middle of it.
There’s literally only one person in this ENTIRE comment section agreeing with you in some way. This person you responded to is wierd for not thinking it’s wierd. Just like you are.
DO NOT listen to this person. I’m genuinely baffled how anyone could think any of this is okay. Every possible explanation that people could give leads to something bad. If there’s not ONE reason that leads to a fine outcome or explanation. It’s probably bad. And if you let this ONE comment reaffirm your bias right now, I genuinely hope your girlfriend gets out quick
OP, we’re you paying for things for him on your credit cards?
Yeah 1) stop sleeping with him for a start ??‍♀️ 2) I'd 100% divorce him I'd also make it known what he has done in divorce proceedings.
From now on leave the exchanges of children and talking about the children to your mother, cut him out completely, this is a manipulation and abuse and I'd never be able to come back from this.
Speak to you mom, you choice whether you tell her what he was planning or just say he done someone unspeakable and I would like all communication of the child to go through you and you relay the messages to me and so the swapping of the children to be done by you as well from this day forward.
Also relay the message to your ex.
As of this moment I am blocking your number, all communication about the children will be done now through my mother as will pick up/drop offs. What you was doing is unforgivable and not something I can or am willing to work past.
Speak to a lawyer ASAP/today and start divorce proceedings and child custody agreements.
Then it's time to end.