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Thank you. Really
Yeah. Time to cut your losses. I had this issue before… and guess what… he stopped. Because he respected and understood it hurt me. Is he looking still? 1000% but at least I don't see it.
Why are you asking for advice then?
If I were the kid, it would be easier to see how my parents treat me until 18, instead of being removed from that situation and wondering “what if I had stayed?”
My opinion is to stay married for now, keep things how they are, lay off the complaints about the mom (let her figure this out, don't be a voice louder than her conscience), and live! your life the best you can until your kids are in college. Keep doing what you're doing, but stop telling the other adults what to do. Just do you. Let them be. If you get quiet, they might be able to hear you better.
He’s older and won’t put up with nonsense. He has boundaries. If you make his life worse, he will leave. Seems reasonable.
You two are toxic together. If you can get in touch either personally with a center or through a hotline to a abuse/violence hotline and figure out the best steps you have to take where you are to get out safely.
Laws and resources change depending on where you are, they will tell you what to do. Tell them you want to get out and ask them how to do so with as much safety for all people concerned as possible.
(Whether it entails calling the police, setting up restraining orders, documenting what you are going through etc.)
That unwanted and/or too soon groping shit bugs me, and in this context, 10000% not okay. I’m sure you felt extremely uncomfortable. I would not see him again. Even if you discuss it, who knows what he’s do next time. What a grabby douche.
OK, but you do realize that you ignoring your ex’s lack of consent is just as bad as this guy thinking it’s OK to slap you across the face? Like just because you did, it doesn’t make the behavior OK. You were wrong then, but his guy is pulling your hair and smacking you across the face. Girl why are you clinging so naked to this man? You just started dating him. Two months of dating doesn’t mean you have to put up with a lifetime of your boundaries getting crossed and probably something worse than a slap against your will.
I do t think the age gap had anything to do with this scenario. Honestly 7 years isn’t that crazy if yo re both over 20.
You did so well! Don't let yourself be disrespected like that. You dodged a bullet!
The title alone is delusional thinking. Don’t stay with someone who thinks this. Trust and integrity are fundamental to a healthy relationship.
You can’t make him understand you. You’ve said everything plainly. He clearly won’t reflect on why this isn’t healthy, or is unable to comprehend your POV; either way, he is not going to change. He’s a 32 year old man who is too stubborn or dumb to understand how his lying is a red flag and hurting you and the relationship.