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You may also want to consider that in general if a nose job is done well, the end result doesn’t totally remove the uniqueness of the nose. It would look weird to take a big nose and make it average sized, often it is a subtle reshaping to give it a better proportion. My boyfriend had to have his deviated septum operated on, and they also took the cosmetic aspect into consideration. I was worried he would lose the unique nose I loved but the end result still has him looking like him! His nose is just straighter and in proportion.
Are we talking the beginning or start of a relationship or in the middle of one?
If we are talking about the beginning of the relationship, it makes good sense for both partners.
If we are talking in the middle of a longterm committed relationship and the woman just went and got a STD test out of fear/anxiety just to be sure that she is STD-free, I would agree that her actions are endangering the relationship and she needs to get to the root causes that is driving her behaviour.
Hmmm, the only exception is that STD tests I believe are part of standard infertility diagnostic tests and if she is having that done behind her partner's back there is an EVEN BIGGER relationship issue to address.
I also think those supremely idiotic “faithfulness” tests where people are setting up their partners to be hit on by attractive people are red flags and corrosive to a relationship.
This is exactly how my ex began cheating. We moved to a new area, she was a SAHM, and fell in with a group of singles that still liked to go pub crawling.
So as I see it he gets a(n almost) free apartment and free childcare, isn’t this a great deal for him? Of course he starts crying, to manipulate you to never leave him or take any responsibility for his bullshit. Why do you want to be with someone who at 34 has such shitty planning in life that he can’t afford his own place and then makes children on top of it? Or why would you want to be with someone who can’t even take responsibility for the fact he knocked her up and now has children? Is that really someone you want to be with? If the woman “manipulated” him to have kids, she wouldn’t move away from him not wanting anything to do with him at first. And why do all the 30+ people who date teenagers or young adults ALWAYS have a “manipulative ex” and a sob story? Because young people believe that bullshit and feel bad for this idiot. You said you just came out of an abusive relationship and were in a very vulnerable position with your health – that’s how they get you. Sadly you are too used to abusive and unhealthy relationship dynamics that you can’t see when you’re being manipulated. Did he move really fast, give you gifts and act perfect and amazing at first? That’s how they get you, that’s called lovebombing, and healthy relationships don’t start fast and irrationally and don’t burn with a passion like that, they’re slow and stable and respectful. He doesn’t care that you’re struggling because of his bullshit decisions, please start thinking about what you want and don’t feel guilt tripped because of his crocodile tears. He sounds pathetic, I’m sorry.
Good luck
That's a ton of words about something you've both been clear about.
Incompatible unless one of you shifts stances.
“It’s great so far” You literally found out you were the “other girl” and that he was cheating on his ex to be with you and monkey branched over to you after dumping her. Don’t be stupid. You were warned.
It’s probably Post event guilt on his part. What I remember from practicing the catholic faith was constant shaming for even the tiniest mistakes / “sins”.
You can take a break from him and tell him why & that you deserve better treatment.
You're calling it storming off but maybe she just had enough of your weird drama. You keep framing it as if she's being immature or unreasonable but I think most well adjusted people would nope out of this too. She's probably realised, if you don't know something so basic as “don't invite people who are trying to sleep with you to stay over in your flat when you're in a committed relationship”, that a future with you will just be an exhausting series of situations where she has to explain common sense to you.
The sooner you get divorced, the sooner you can be free to find someone else who WILL be your forever person, Someone who won't lie to you, has the same boundaries/compatability etc, which right now, is the opposite of your wife. Don't hang on to the past to so long that you're prevented from happiness in the future.
There's no magical words you can say to her that'll make her realise how wrong it was for her to lie to you. If she doesn't understand that by now, she never will. Think about if there's a specific requirement in your mind, that'd make you know 100% that you want to stay with her. Like if she makes a true heartfelt apology, explains what she did wrong, and how she's going to fix it/not do it again, for example of what one of those requirements could be. Then think about how likely it is that she'd ever fulfil that requirement. If you truly know that she'll never do something like that, then you know for sure that she'll never be the person you want her to be