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Do not split finances with someone you are not married to, especially a house you own solely. Even then make sure you are protected from being left with nothing. Separate accounts for deposit of pay with joint for household expenses and things like trips, eating out, etc.
She could, but with it being a 5 hour drive it's really inconvenient.
You say she brings up old grievances that have no place in the discussion – that's your opinion but the grievances are obviously important to her. Maybe you need to pay more attention to what she is saying rather than shutting her down.
He also doesn’t want anymore kids, we are not trying to get a vehicle with a third row and I’m not fucking up my lady parts again
This really isn't a Reddit question we can answer because we would potentially be the boyfriend. So would you be able to find a solid relationship being married to him, unless you want poly and the man you get is bisexual and poly the answer is no, you need to leave and be BFF'S and live your life…
Why would anyone be upset about someone walking in on them talking to a friend?
Most jealous and envious people ( even some of the ones you call “friends” ) will try to sabotage good things in your life when things aren't going well in theirs. Misery loves company. Don't listen to your friend. And when it comes to talking about your relationship, I'd not even mention it to people like your “friend”. Like I said, miserable people want to bring you down to their level and or one up you.
As long as he's treating you right and being respectful, that's all that matters. Don't let a “friend” talk in your ear and make you doubt a good thing. You're “friend” sounds shallow and jealous.
I guess it’s time to plan a party? I may take a day to get more important things lined up and then address it. The other side of this is financially I’m tapped out, all of my savings went into this wedding. I’ll have to figure out how to make money for a deposit on a rental now bc unfortunately our home is solely in his name. I’ll figure it out.
Sis, it is better that your boys stay with the other parent for a couple of weeks while you get back on your feet than for you to stay even for one more day with your ex fiancee. Personally, I'd call the police and ask them to escort him off property while I pack my stuff if he has come to.
He probably won't remember a thing. While he is passed out, pack all your stuff. Everything. Leave the mess behind for him to clean up with a simple note:
You got drunk and trashed the house and relationship. THe relationship is over and you can clean up your own # mess.
Then, call whatever relatives online nearby with a pickup to come help you move your stuff out and crash on someone's couch for a few weeks while you pull together the money for a deposit. All of your things (including furniture in your ex's house that belongs to you) can go in a storage unit as long as you need them to.
Take photos of the trashed house and talk to an attorney about suing him for the deposits, your products, etc… any money you can get back from him will only help you start a new life for yourself and your boys. You should NOT have to eat the cost of this wedding.
If he wants to be obeyed then tell him to get a dog.
She sounds toxic, but like someone else said, really not worthy of your time. Talking to her probably won't change her behaviour. Chances are, she has a crush on your boyfriend and is jealous.