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Agree. I just started looking for options.
There’s two sides to the spectrum. I was an hour plowed. Took three hours to cut my first time. Not proud but not ashamed either.
Dirty messages and dirty photos are physical cheating more than emotional cheating imo, ofc it has an emotional side too. So he cheated but he is not willing to take responsibility. He is trying to gaslight you. So there is that.
He said he couldn’t act on it while knowing they were going to meet at their friends’ wedding? That’s another lie and belittling your mind.
He didn’t even confess, you found out. He didn’t care to humiliate you at that wedding while looking at his affair partner with you sitting next to you. He simply didn’t care about you. He cannot even decide if a wedding is more important than his 3 year relationship. You deserve better than this.
You have every right to be selfish in this situation considering that how selfish he was while you were away for a short time. So don’t feel bad about it. Also if he goes to that wedding without you there is no way he won’t fuck her. It’s not about being a groomsman or just a guest. They’re going to meet at that wedding.
If you decide to reconcile just know this: He killed your old relationship. There will be triggers on this way and you can never trust him like you trusted him before. You have to build a brand new relationship without trust which is the most important element in a relationship. So you have to fight harder because of a CHOICE he made. You have to pay the consequences of his choice with him if you want to stay.
Considering that you and I both 27, I wouldn’t waste my time but the choice is yours.
It sounds very reasonable. All of these comments help me very much to calm myself down and have a clearer thought. Thank you very much!