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1. u/gingeruser555, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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2. WTH!! Cut him loose . Block him

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3. Thanks.

   Sometimes I wonder if the way I feel is normal give this is how my ex treated me. Previous post:

   I’d never had a boyfriend. I wondered if something was wrong with me as I was always an afterthought. I had a few situationships which I had to leave as I didn’t feel I was being treated properly.

   I was on the dating apps for years and last year opened the app to see a message from a guy who looked lovely. He told me he was unemployed as he had just moved to My city from Abroad a few weeks before ,but starting to get things together and start a new factory job and wants to be an actor. The chats were amazing and he was consistent with texting . He constantly texted me about his day, what he was eating, random videos and I thought it was really cute. This went on for like a month, until I told him I really wanted to see him and finally we met in person

   I had to plan the first date as he didn’t know what was around. I booked a table at a pub and we had a nice evening.

   I liked him and felt we connected well. He told me how beautiful he thought I was, he was full of compliments and his texting me non stop continued. I had a car, but he didn’t, so I planned picnic dates, walks, even a little camping holidate, I would pick him up from his house. He never offered to pay for a meal or anything, we only ever split which I was happy about as I understood he was broke. I loved all our time together, I didn’t want the dates to end.n he was really nice, like one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, attentive and affectionate. Told me ‘don’t know if you know this, but I’m quite a nice guy.’ He said his love language was quality time and how important it is to meet each other’s love languages.

   We lived 1.5 hours away from each other and he told me I should move closer. I was looking to move anywa . I got an apartment about 30 mins from his house. But as soon as I moved, it just hit me. He never planned anything, he never took me on a date, not even ever buying me a coffee. He would take a photo of the receipt for me to pay him back later on

   In fact, I started to notice a big change in his personality. I started to notice and feel bothered by him still talking to his ex situationships as friends. He followed a lot of girls on instagram but claimed they are all girls he’s met or friends with, and not random women. But he was always liking their bikini photos. His 4 different exes were always mentioned by him in convo. Like ‘my ex did or liked that!’

   Nevertheless he was so geeky and sweet, everyone loved him

   My birthday came round and I remember being completeLy disappointed by his lack of effort. I know from his instagram, his exes used to post that he spoilt them on their birthday. He did nothing for me. Despite me still putting effort in and being so supportive of him.

   Then I really noticed a change in the way he was. He lived in his mates spare room and his mate asked him to take shorter showers. I found out then, he hated any confrontation and ranted to me about how up he was always told to take made him take long showers and called him dirty.

   I foolishly also insured him on my car, and I let him drive us places. There was this time I asked him to move my car slightly back and he refused. So I did it myself. And never have I seen a man give me such a horrible death stare, shaking his head at me.

   Other things included calling me manipulative when I brought up my needs. I tried to talk about my feelings, and he always changed the subject back to himself and how *** his life was. I asked him to meet a need of mine and he started going on about how his ex did that too and she was manipulative. Then I felt sorry for him so kept quiet. I knew he was having a nude time being broke and not being able to find his first job as an actor

   One day we went to the cinema and I texted him as he was in the toilet. I’m getting you a drink, what would you like. I bought him some snacks and a drink and gave it him. He said ‘ohhh nice of you to actually take me on a date.’ Upset me as I always planned things for us to do, cooked him meals etc. I was always generous. ‘Guess it’s paying me back for the meal I bought for your birthday 2 months ago you never paid me back for.’

   Finally, we were shopping in department store one night and I pointed out a cute table set. I said ‘I can’t wait to have kids in future.’ And he said ‘ooooooh dealbreakers, I think I’ve changed my mind on kids but when you’re 35 and I still don’t want them, you’re very hot so you can find somewhere else.’ Felt quite shocked. Then he kept saying things like ‘wow we’re the most attractive people in here.’

   I felt like I couldn’t have a differing opinion to him either. One day we were watching a tv show about a certain country and I said ‘I don’t actually fancy travelling there as my food allergies would mean it’s hot to eat.’ And he snapped and said ‘WELL I DO!’

   A few weeks later, he dumped me over the phone, said he never fell in love.

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4. Sounds like he is more invested than you are potentially? He seems like he is more comfortable around you, and wants to be in a peaceful and calm situation when he is around.

   You’re nervous energy might be making him insecure as well. Not saying it’s your fault. It’s okay to be anxious or nervous. You two just clearly aren’t on the same page right now.

   Why are you feeling anxious around him?

   If I hadn’t seen my SO for an extended period of time, and when I did it was awkward or off, I would be very curious to figure out why they felt that way.

   Is his communication bad?

   Y’all shouldn’t leave this stuff up for interpretation. Instead tell him why you’re anxious etc.

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5. You will waste more effort on his behalf at your expense. Just leave and block him. There are no explanations necessary because he does not value you. Any love or care cannot change that fact. I wish you wonderful days ahead without him.

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6. Agree

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7. Oh I never asked her to babysit!! Never. I understand that. and I understand health comes first! This just came so out of the blue though because for months she told me she would never go and wanted to stay with us. You’re right though boundaries are appropriate which is why I’m respecting the space she requested. It was just so sudden

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