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You need to break up with him. You need your own place. Until you have it maybe you have friends or family that have a spare room. You also need therapy cause of your self-destructive tendencies. I am very sorry you are in this situation
You are 28 and not married. If you are not satisfied in your relationship let him know and if it isn't to your liking leave. Fuck that he is stable etc. You are not doing him or you any favors using him in this way by staying and not being happy.
Most women won't appreciate your bf till they are 40. Till then they want a Mike. Settling now would be a mistake that will just eat years of your life that you don't want to give up. Go be single. Fuck who you want. When you are ready to settle down deal with your choices then. If you stay you will just fuck him over in the future when you have a house and kids and shit is real very hot.
You have plenty of reason to keep some distance, but not because of how John may or may not feel or whether he's being genuine — you aren't going to figure that out and given how much is going on in his life and Jenna's, there's still plenty of possibility he'll change his mind about you and the situation from day to day or week to week. That will be extremely stressful and confusing for everyone especially the child, and the way you mitigate that stress and risk, and preserve the good vibe of your relationship with Jenna, is by keeping some distance.
See Jenna at your own place or in public, or when John is out of the house for now. If he asks, tell him you think he's great and look forward to being friends later but that you want to make sure you're not imposing on their space to work through the separation and get closure on their marriage. If he presses you or says he's not worried about that, just blandly repeat yourself in friendly-sounding terms: you don't want to impose on their and their kid's space and routine but are so glad he's cool about everything.
And honestly, you may not need me to tell you this but — try to maintain a level head about Jenna. I hear what you're saying about being experienced in relationships, but you aren't experienced in a relationship with a woman who's just getting out of the only relationship she has been in since she was 15 (!!). Things may not stay this easy and good forever, she may have a lot of stuff to work through from her marriage, and either way she deserves space and freedom to explore who she is as an adult person separate from such a long and defining relationship — without suddenly being pushed to define herself as part of a new one. She can do that while dating you, but I'm just saying your chances of a long term healthy relationship are higher if she doesn't simply replace John's space in her life with you, but actually takes the time to think critically about what kind of life she wants to lead and how a partnership would ideally fit into that.
this ^
Talk. To. Her.
It's not nice to assume she is playing games and not struggling with the right way to communicate with you. We never can determine others thoughts. In fact, we often guess wrong because we put our unconscious bias spin on it.
We usually don't ask because we are afraid of the answer. Why is it beneficial over doing nothing? If the answer is good – we can get on with it and not waste anymore time worrying for nothing. If it isn't good, we aren't wasting our time and we can get on with life.
I know.. I’m kinda more sad for I’m than for me since he’s wanted to be with me for so long and he’s clearly losing me. I just don’t know what to do with the appartement plans for the summer.
That's a tough one. I have an older brother like that. He constantly abuses mom, and she is nice no matter what. He's in his 40s, parents in 70s. We've had good decades and bad decades. The last 5 years have been really rough. Really it just takes us other kids pushing mom to create boundaries against him, but it's tough because he is very dominating and manipulative. We think mom's doing fine but then suddenly she let's him move in (he's on and off homeless).
Can you convince your sister to move out? Point out that if she doesn't respect/like them, she would be happier away from them. It will be a big step to restrict her dependence on them financially and emotionally. Likely she thinks they owe her and she wants them to suffer, be careful how you handle that. Make sure the financial dependence stops. Work on equipping her to be independent. She has a massive ego, play that to your advantage here.
Lol there is it is. I knew you were a cheating apologist for a reason. It's always the mfs that do this kinda dirt that don't really get the damage it can do.
Either a) he decides to cheat, b) gets violent when you say no, c) coerces/forces you, or d) any number of other bad outcomes.
You’re going to potentially be co parenting with them. Take the high road! It feels better to be the bigger person. Karma will get them don’t you worry about that! They won’t live! happily ever after. But you can when you move forward and don’t look back!
Yawn